Since there was never an iOS update that did NOT break my app in some way or another, I don't expect resolution hell to work out of the box. Android had to deal with this for years and matured. In iOS, the last release of my iPhone app asked me to upload a gazillion different pixel-perfect icon sizes.

I have a small online business. I have neither time nor patience to do this shit myself, but it'd probably take one person for the app only to maintain it properly through all these nasty upgrades all the time. Oh, and this person now needs at least 4 different iPhones to test that stuff properly.

Good for you that you were the Android guy. I'm the guy required to have an Android guy and an iOS guy. Which sucks ;)