I play a decent bit of video games, and used to play a LOT more, by some standards I might be called a gamer still. I've defiantly seen some of what you mention, however, I've also seen some of the best communities of people.

I play WoW, and the guild I play with has a relatively good mix of nationality and gender, and I've never once heard someone berate or look down upon our female players.

I think as with most things, there is a spectrum.