Ask HN: What do you after bad day? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What do you after bad day?

12 pointsstoopidood9 comments

Founder here of reasonably successful company curious to hear the advice of others. Of course, creating a startup is an exercise in letdowns. It takes 100 "no"s to get to every "yes". I'm familiar with that.

I'm not depressed or someone to worry about, but earlier today lost a deal that was important.

I'm curious how others deal with big let downs. Part of me wants to take a break and go get drinks with friends, part of me wants to double down and work late into the night, part of me just wants to lay on the couch and sleep.

Just a bad day and curious how others deal with it. Cheers.

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This is more applicable for a "normal" type of bad day that might occur a bit more frequently, rather than something on a much larger scale like what was experienced above.

If you have something planned after work (or later in the day), but because of your "bad day" you don't feel motivated to do it when the time arises, it's important to still do it. It could be anything from working on a side project, doing some exercise, cooking a nice elaborate meal, etc.

If you don't then will suffer two blows: (a) have a bad day, and (b) not enrich your day by doing what you had planned.

e.g. Your plan might have been to do some exercise, but you get home, feel like crap and decide to have a few beers to help yourself feel better. Or you planned on cooking something nice, but feel like getting takeaway instead.

Sure, sometimes you might need to concede (especially for a big let down). But it should not become the norm.

Furthermore, if by doing your planned after-work activity you manage to overcome the negative vibe from your bad day, you're more likely to go to bed feeling better about yourself, what you have achieved lately, and be more optimistic about what lies ahead tomorrow (and how to deal with it).

I usually look at where I am and be grateful, regardless of a great disappointment. The optimized approach here is the find what will change your mindset the most and since working may motivate you for a bit, it won't really change your mindset.

A break is good and probably optimable since alcohol and friends will change the scene and definitely change your mindset (as long as you don't bring it up).

Regardless, we always fear of being back where we started - disappointment. Sometimes it's like a date with someone promising that went wrong. There's tons of things you could have done, but she or he didn't want to go on - it doesn't make it your fault, nor the other person's. Sometimes it's just not meant to be, perhaps for the better.

Music! Build playlists that help you get through tough times. My personal favorites are classic rock like Stairway to Heaven ("If there's a bustle in your hedgegrow, don't be alarmed now / It's just a spring clean for the May queen"), Bach (in particular, WTC pieces), and instrumental jazz (Miles Davis is really uplifting). Find songs where the lyrics mean something special to you, and listen to them. Sometimes it helps you look at the big picture, and sometimes it makes you feel like you're not alone. Either way, it's uplifting. :-)

I like to buy a quality cut of meat or fish, and seasonal produce, with a couple of recipes in mind. Then I spend the next hour or so (depending on the recipes) preparing and cooking a delicious meal. Cutting vegetables. Trimming meat. Making a fricassee (or learning that it's between a sauté and a stew). Broiling. Frying. It's all more visceral than my day to day work. It let's me empty my mind and focus on creating something that I will enjoy that evening, without worrying about tomorrows or next weeks.

Other comments cover it well, all highly recommended ways to deal with a bad day I think.

What I would personally do is sit down and clear my mind for 10 or 20 minutes. Meditate, breathe slowly and deeply. Let your thoughts race and get out of your mind. Think of all the things you have achieved, all the great people in your life. Let that remind you that it is "just" a lost deal.

Then, go out and drink a few with the guys.

If I have had a stressful day, I go run a 5K loop around the Rose Bowl. If I had a good day, I do the same thing. "Meh" days, the same.

I find that on a bad day I spend more time with the kids. Take them out for a trike ride before sunset, let them spend more time playing in the bath, watch a DVD with them before bedtime. I suppose I'm unconsciously compensating to make sure I don't spread my bad moods to them.

I guess this strategy will have to evolve when they're teenagers and they become the source of my bad moods.

Be kind. Smile. Be grateful for the life I have. Make a donation on Watsi.

Life can be beautiful, even in dark days.

Stay positive!

run 5 miles, clears up the head. Then have a hot bath and a wonderful dinner. Call my best friend. simple things

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