Help a programmer called to ministry

I'm going to be forthcoming and state that I've always had trouble fathoming a religious programmer.

It's not there mere belief in a god that baffles me. It's when one goes beyond the simple belief that the universe has a creator and enters the realm of Christianity that truly boggles my mind.

Programmers, in my experience, are logical people -- if not by their very nature, then through practice. While I do not believe that our universe has a god, I also don't find it at all unreasonable for one to believe that it does. But a religion layers a multitude of points on top of this notion and eliminates a lot of vagueness thereof. The creator's name is this. "His" plan for us is this.

I carry my own superstitions. I think it's something that the mind turns to in order to stay relatively sane. My answers to existential questions like "what happens when we die?" come from my numerous experiences with psychedelic chemicals, which have led me into transcendental contact with alien worlds beyond prior imagination. I imagine that that anyone might see or feel something that they are sure of, and need no more evidence. For some, that feeling is an omnipotent, omniscient, and benevolent god.

However, I (believe that I) am far less sure of myself. I might believe that the death of my physical body won't truly be the death of "me", but a transition to "something else" cosmically. (There's nothing particularly novel about that concept, and it's incredibly ubiquitous in both alternative and mainstream spirituality.) But even then, my beliefs remain fairly vague and nebulous, and I also (try to) acknowledge that I could very easily be wrong, and that when I kick the bucket that there will merely be nothing, forever.

But I have to ask, who in their right mind would want to give me money if I decided I wanted to devote my life to becoming an agent of my own beliefs?