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I begin to suspect going nuclear is the only option. "Hi, I'd like to cancel my service" "But what about X?" "Ombudsman and or Lawyers. Cancel. You have been instructed, the next time I say this will be in court/writing/etc".

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They'll just transfer you to legal. Worst case, they tag your account and do this every time you call, and you're in limbo for months. Ugh.

That's not how it works. They won't transfer you to a lawyer: those are damned expensive.

In Australia, if you threaten to go to an ombudsman, companies tend to listen. Ombudsman cases are very expensive.

You don't get a lawyer, you get the legal department. Big difference :-)

Legal department are not lawyers, and are also usually much much smaller in size than customer support as a whole. Also legal departments are typically fairly terrible at resolving disputes in a reasonable amount of time (before months have passed). Even if your issue is simple or a misunderstanding, if you get transferred to legal, it is no longer simple at that point.

What limbo? I dont care who am I speaking with. "I am cancelling thank you" + recording is all it takes.

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