1) 'We are a dominant engineering firm that boasts many leading clients'
2) 'We are a community of engineers who have effective relationships with many satisfied clients'
First one makes me think of a solid company with many clients, second one just makes me think they are a hippie community living in the woods foraging for food and no showering while coding.
Hence the faux moral outrage over gendered words.
Hence the hounding of Brendan Eich for his personal views which had no bearing on his technical competency.
Hence the Gnome foundation running out of money because they diverted all their funds to a women's outreach program instead of focusing on software development.
Right now, in the real world, scantily-clad women in bikins are draped across magazine covers, sporting events segregate the sexes, and in many Islamic countries women are treated like slaves... yet somehow “The tech industry may have a problem with women"?
If I was in part of the hiring process, and someone told me I had to write in a job description 'We are committed to understanding the engineer sector intimately.' to attract more women, I think I would be biased against women in my process, both consciously (I don't want 'intimacy' of any kind at a place of business) and probably unconsciously as well.
This particular language was for describing the company as a whole, rather than a position.
To me, this phrasing sounds like the firm differentiates itself based on having a better understanding of its customers, which is a useful thing for consultancies.
Proficient oral and written communications skills. Collaborates well in a team environment. Sensitive to clients’ needs, can develop warm client relationships
Does that sound like a qualification for an engineer? I suppose it could but I am used to engineering qualifications being specifically about engineering, if I had to guess, I would assume this was a sales job or sales oriented and would not apply.
I still hold that I shouldn't have to filter all the language I use to be nontoxic to women. I am not a woman, so I cannot judge what is toxic to them and would prefer to function as normal.
This is a good point. If you get to the point where people are scared of expressing their thoughts for fear of offending someone who took them the wrong way, you have a serious problem. Most people are not going to put in the effort; they're just going to keep their mouths closed and dodge the confrontation entirely. This leads to bad ideas winning.
Sure, it's one thing about posting a job description. But if you're going to apply that mindset to your job description, you're probably going to apply it to everything from water cooler conversation to official meetings to emails.
And yes, it's important that people are respectful and make your environment a great place to work. But it's a really bad idea to go over the top in welcoming 10% of your workforce and alienating the other 90%.