"True, but they'll be a damn sight quicker at picking it up than anyone else. And they'll write far better code when they're there."
Tried that with a few developers. Because it was such a change in thinking for them, the same standards didn't apply to javascript as it does for C, they would approach things the way C does instead of the way recommended by javascript etc. They were constantly fighting against their habits which they have had for 10 years. Soon as you add less, bootstrap, require, and so forth. Their learning curve starts becoming much higher and with the hindrance of their old habits. They end up worse and others have to refactor their code! This isn't opinion, it's happened a few times already at work.
"In my CV (highly rated by everyone i've given it to) you won't find a single one of these. Instead, you'll find real descriptions of what i've accomplished, who I worked with (mentoring etc), my methodology (agile, test driven development) and so on."
If you have a CV with the reputation like Jon Skeet, Rasmus Lerdorf or Douglas Crockford. Fair enough. But most people don't :)
"And UML... holy shit, yeah, no."
It's the best way to communicate how code design will be put together when talking to other devs. Instantly things like inheritance being used instead of aggregation, or composition being used when aggregation should be, or methods in the wrong classes. Even our IDE will produce UML which instantly lets devs see when they have placed something in the wrong place, set a method to public instead of private, and so forth.
If you can read the basics of UML it helps tremendously.
"The only way to do it is to use common sense and actually read the CV's you're being sent, then talk to the people you think could do the job to see if they can."
Interviewing someone is expensive. I have my usual job to do as a programmer, interviewing takes me out of action for hours. I have to work out who has the higher chance of being worthwhile interviewing. Which is why I wrote that blog post. Explaining what things I personally, and i'm sure other employers will look for especially when comparing to another developers CV.