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Comment by dba7dba | Hacker News Reader

I'm blushing that it came across like that. I just meant to say how a young woman eventually becomes a very similar mirror of her mother as time passes.

I didn't mean to say I or anyone should measure a woman with how she keeps home or raises kids or physical beauty only. It was as sample list.

What I meant to say is you obviously don't want to marry a woman who's a great person today but turns out to be a terrible person tomorrow or 10 years from now (because everyone ages and changes over time). Of course there are unexpected/terrible things like diseases but basically you would want to marry someone you like your whole life. What I've seen is that when a mother in law is cranky and unhappy at older age for whatever reason, the daughter turns out similar.

If you don't care for any of this after my explanation, just note that you are not marrying just a person. You are marrying her family/friends and whatever baggage she may have.

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Just a question: have you ever been in a relationship? I'm just curious, because what other evidence do you have for the seemingly bold statement that women become more like their mothers as time goes on?

Well, let's see: 1. a woman shares DNA with her mother. A big chunk of it. 2. she were most likely raised by her mother, and influenced strongly by who she was, the good and the bad. 3. on account of being of the same gender, a mother is usually a primary role model to woman, in the same way many fathers are to men.

I'd say that's plenty of evidence.

I'd also say that the same goes for men, and more recently I've been amazed by how similar my siblings are to me, in comparison to the rest of the world.

Anecdotally, it's true to varying degrees with all women I know, and the similarities only became more visible as I got to know them better.

While I'm not a big fan of the points OP picked to focus on ("how well she keeps the home in order, raise kids, and AGE"), I don't think his statement that women often become like their mothers is so incredibly bold or hard to believe.

While my impressions of a love interest's mother (and to a lesser degree father) are not the deciding factor, they are an important data point, because in every relationship I've had, specific 'issues' that were immediately obvious in her parents eventually bubbled up in her as well. It would be silly to ignore that information.

> While I'm not a big fan of the points OP picked to focus on ("how well she keeps the home in order, raise kids, and AGE"),

I should've put it in this form: "Before marrying, people wonder "do I want to spend rest my life with this woman?" Well there's a good prediction of what your future wife will be like, and that would be her mother."

Yeah, that's more or less how I read it.

I just wanted to make it clear that I was agreeing with you on the general statement, not on the possible interpretation that the things you name are the typical things one should think of of in relation to women.

I am in fact married with kids. And my statement was based on my observations. I can make such statements based on my observations no? Or do I have quote a scientific research?

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