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Comment by throwaway2719 | Hacker News Reader

Indeed. To me, sex is the ultimate intimacy and I can't really imagine doing it on a casual basis, nor do I think I'd enjoy that very much. Sex as an expression of deep commitment to another person is one of the best experiences two people can share. But I can empathize with the subject in the OP. After several painful breakups and the ultimate, a failed marriage, I'm done with it. I don't care if I ever have sex again. I'm not getting back on that roller coaster, the pleasure is not worth the pain.

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If it's that bad, you need to take that as evidence that your attitudes of sex lead to problems, not the advice to have fun.

Consider that he may just have had a streak of bad luck rather than to jump to conclusions. Life can be pretty harsh and if you're hit with a series of blows then it is natural to try to avoid further blows, it is way out of line to point to that as 'evidence' that you have an attitude problem. That's the sort of thing reserved for people who have never had a streak of bad luck, which is great but that does not mean it holds across the board. Shit really does happen, and some people have more of it in their lives than they deserve. Note that I'm explicitly not talking about myself here, but I have some examples in my circle of friends that have received a disproportionate amount of bad luck and I can see how it affects them. Some are lucky, some are unlucky, it can't be helped and is no proof of 'attitude' or anything like that without knowing a lot more about the individual.

Evidence is not proof.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evidence_under_Bayes_theorem

It could be that none of his bad situation is the result of his preferences, but his situation shouldn't be ignored either. You have to be able to consider that you did something unwise in order to take hints from the environment.

throwaway2719's main point also seems to be that for some people, sex is not just fun and games, but entails some sort of emotional closeness. If your position is that you should just go have fun sex as you wish, then that seems completely fine as long as your partners are on board.

Conversely, the logical extension is that you should be on board with your partners freely having fun sex, with whomever they desire.

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