It seems like Langley and Gibson both agree that OCSP Must-Staple would resolve all this.

"If we want a scalable solution to the revocation problem then it's probably going to come in the form of short-lived certificates or something like OCSP Must Staple." - https://www.imperialviolet.org/2014/04/19/revchecking.html

"The case for “OCSP Must-Staple" - https://www.grc.com/revocation/commentary.htm