First, this is caused by "unlimited", or other large plans (1GB+) plans. Unlimited can never mean unlimited, anymore than it does with electricity.
Carriers are selling those plans to give people comfort around billshock. It's much, much easier to give people an unlimited plan than it is to try to get them to pay for a huge post-pay data bill.
However, since this is about customer comfort, carriers are working on an average usage, and assuming an amount of "breakage".
Breakage is the unused portion of a balance, and it is factored into the profit the carrier expects. It comes from calling card days, where there would be a balance at the end of the card that couldn't be used ($1 on the card, and 35c/minute). Unused prepaid balance at the end of the month? Breakage.
We're atypical users, and even then I'm using <500MB/month. However, this is changing - people are frequently staying on mobile and not switching to wifi when it is available. That's why I hear about people complaining about mobile data coverage at home!
Next, mobile carriers are doing anything and everything they can to avoid becoming a dumb bit-pipe. Mobile is more competitive than fixed line (no regional monopolies), so customers have more power. Personally, I think there is an insane amount of money to be made being a simple bit pipe, mostly through cost reductions.
Finally, they're not only tracking this through separate APNs for tethered traffic, they're tracking the hop counts of packets and detecting packets who's hop count is unexpected for the device.
So, running a VPN client on the laptop and tethering won't help, but running a VPN client on your phone and tethering traffic through _that_ connection might.