What (else) can men do? Grow the f*** up

The biggest reason why you don't "deserve" sexual attention is because you are competing with lots of other males. If you were the only guy on Earth, then you would have endless amounts of it. So you need to be extra personable and nice to compensate for the lack of scarcity.

"Boys who like computers are taught that we DESERVE sexual attention from women. We need to get over it." - what bizarro-world did this guy grow up in? Being unattractive to to members of the opposite sex is pretty much the sine qua non of the nerd stereotype.

Excerpt:

So why do I overreact more egregiously to criticism from women, when all of my childhood bullies were boys? The answer, I think, has less to do with the boys who bullied me, and more to do with the well-intentioned adults who tried to “help” me through that bullying: When I was a nerdy kid, adults regularly assured me that the abuse I suffered was acceptable because one day I would be entitled to constant positive sexual attention from women.

I don't think this is remotely unique to nerds, tech people, people who were bullied, etc and I am not sure having such expectations is very dependent upon explicitly getting such messages. I think it's a lot more complicated than that. I am female and I read as very feminine and even women wind up having abusive expectations that I should be motherly towards them and not expect a fucking thing in return for being helpful, empathetic, etc. I am 48. I have spent a lifetime working on finding a way out of being everyone's doormat and bitch. If I were male and "nice" to other professional men, it would be a professional bonding experience -- ie Networking. But I am female so it's just something sexual or emotional and no reason to take me seriously. In fact, it often seems like a reason to avoid me because they feel too much and it's a problem. Or some such.

I think it's a lot more complicated than this guy makes it. Sorry about his yelly anger management issues. I don't think this is a great piece. I also don't agree with his assertion that ... your experience of being bullied or picked on or excluded entitles you to absolutely nothing from anyone ever. It is yours and yours alone to deal with.

It's a fact that one person's pain and problems impacts other people, whether they know of them or not. The fact that so many men are not very realistic, egalitarian, etc certainly impacts women and others. We need to work together to solve this. United we stand. Divided we fall. This blame game and ugliness does not help.