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We are all nothing but data-points on a distribution curve.

If you end up just a little bit outside of the very narrow band where the majority of people can be found, welcome to the land of the lost and ignored.

If you are lucky medical science has put a name on that part of the distribution curve and maybe they can help to move you closer to the peak of the distribution curve.

Myself and rest of mankind, please take a note.

Room for improvement: how we treat and interact with other people that didn't have the same luck in the big lottery of life..

Orionblaster, I want you to have better times ahead in your life than what you've seen so far. At least I can offer you my best wishes over the internet.

Thank you, I am a few standard deviations from normal I guess? Whatever normal is, I don't know.

Posting from a throw-away account.

Here I am, somewhere in the autistic spectrum. Quick learner, scores well on IQ-tests but I have a lot of problems understanding, interacting and connecting with other people. Although my mental illness is somewhat different and probably not as severe as yours I recognize my own situation very much from what you describe.

I don't have an official diagnose, and I'm not overly eager to get my mental illness on paper as that can be to your disadvantage in many situations and besides there isn't really much help available for someone like me within the public health-care system of my country.

From the outside I appear to be functional. I have a job, a home and a car, although I'm in my forties and don't have any family.

But I have to fight really hard with myself just to get by some days. Sometimes using self-medication, I've found SSRIs to be helpful. Although I'm not always sure why I should bother to get through that day, I still keep fighting. I'm thinking about suicide at least a few times every year and sometimes I have gone quite far with the actual preparations.

And you are so extremely spot on when you describe how nobody cares.

I try very hard to perform well at job, besides my illegal medications, which doesn't even have any narcotic effects, I abide every written law of society, I try to help and give kind words whenever I can, I donate money to charities every month.

And nobody would even care to listen, answer a question or give an advice, at least not with any truthfulness or honesty. Hey guys I'm not asking for your money, only a moment of your time and some honesty that I really could use to find my way onwards in life.

Some people around me, both at work and my neighbors have noticed my condition and are willing to talk about it when I'm not around. But they are obviously not prepared to give me 15 minutes of their time and just brief moment of truthfulness, they just want to get rid of the crazy guy and move on.

Nobody cares, for real!

Well people often fear what they don't understand.

High functioning autism just scares them as does my illness. They are misunderstood and so are we as well.

I always blamed myself, but it seems society shuns mentally ill people from all spectrums.

I wish you all the best with your condition and hope you find the right job at the right time.

Thank you, for caring enough to post that. Most people read what I write and just ignore it and move on.

I have a different condition but similar outcome in terms of not being taken seriously and finding that frustrating. But I will suggest you need to look for support from a position of strength -- what do you have to offer -- not from complaining about what has gone wrong. I know that's hard to do -- I often don't manage to pull it off myself -- but you need to figure out what you do have to offer.

I get told constantly (including again today) that I will not be financially successful with my projects. The reality is that I do make some money online, just not as much as I really need. That amount is sporadically improving. I have worked super hard on my health. Getting myself stable and more productive is one of the keys.

If you lived 5 years longer than you were supposed to (my count is 13 so far), then you must have some competencies. What are they? What is the position of strength you have to offer the world? What is the unique value proposition you bring to the table? There has to be one.

Finding a path forward is hard and my frustrations with other people not taking me seriously is a very big thing in my life. But I keep working on what I can do and I keep working on what I do have to offer and I keep working on my various projects and things are slowly improving. I expect them to pick up speed in the near future. This past month has been a major positive turning point in my health. I expect to be more productive, more able to communicate, etc in the future.

((HUGS)) if you want them.

Thanks for the hugs.

I learned over 37 different programming languages on many different operating systems over the years. Some might be old and outdated but thanks to open source projects they got compilers for modern systems. So I can do COBOL, FORTRAN, Pascal, Turbo C, Ada, and a lot of other misc languages that the current graduates and drop-outs don't even know. I can do legacy programming for that and convert code from one language to another. I can even do that with SQL databases and convert flat files and DBF files to SQL databases.

Many of my jobs for which I got paid $150K/year was upscaling a database from Excel, Access, etc formats to MS-SQL server and turning VBA code into Visual BASIC code. I used to write the program that would read the file, and then sync it up with SQL Server and then modify the Visual BASIC code to pull the data from SQL Server.

Yeah I know I got laughed at for using Visual BASIC, but it paid very well. I used quicksort and heapsort algorithms to speed up the code that coworkers write that was just too slow. It went from 15 minutes to generate a report to just 15 seconds. Most problems in Visual BASIC is due to the programer using a slow algorithm and if you know how to rewrite it, then it runs faster. most Visual BASIC programmers use the bubble sort, don't know why it is called a bubble sort or why it is so slow.

I do security and quality checks, read some stuff by Schnermann and Deming. I almost always write a function named SQLFilter that filters out control codes and SQL codes to prevent SQL injection attacks in order to sanitize inputs. I also write one named HTMLfilter that filters out HTML codes, because you don't want someone to exploit you by adding in HTML tags that do something nasty. Ask Pesico about that Name your own Dew contest and they didn't filter out HTML tags and how "Hitler did nothing wrong" won the contest due to some hackers and trolls on 4Chan and Reddit. Well if they used my HTMLFilter function, that would not have happened. I see spammers exploit Facebook using HTML codes and Javascript to automatically like posts and tag friends in a new post with an embedded video. If only they sanitized out HTML codes and rejected Javascript in the forms, spammers could not even do that.

Well maybe now you see how important what I do really is, most if not all of the 90% of startups that fail, don't do quality checks and security checks, because it 'takes too long' and they are in a hurry to get that code released so they can get a paycheck and start up that IPO.

I am a super debugger, you see, I fix the mistakes the rookies make. Most high school and college dropouts are rookies who make these rookie mistakes. I debug those mistakes and correct them.

Right now I am learning Haskell, I got my own GNU/Linux distro but I also use Lubuntu. I also know C++, Java, Python, PHP, C# and feel like given enough time I could learn any language and find ways to translate code from one language to another. Sort of a Polyglot for computer languages I suppose?

> So I can do COBOL, FORTRAN, Pascal, Turbo C, Ada, and a lot of other misc languages that the current graduates and drop-outs don't even know.

I'm interested because you mentioned Turbo C, It's usually the ANSI flavour you get these days (I tend to write the C90 variety).

I think it was 1987 when I learned on Turbo C and Quick C later on and then Microsoft C.

My father worked for AT&T so of course I learned as many versions of C as I could because it was portable and Bell Labs invented it along with Unix. Learning Unix paid off as well.

This is a reply to your earlier comment, that no one cares. I care. I am about your age, and I suffer from depression (which borders on fear of what I may become because my mother had manic/bipolar) I am about to embark upon my own grand venture of start-up life - except it's not a real startup, I'm not looking for an exit, I'm looking for a lifestyle business type thing.

But I would love to connect and chat, as I also worry about how to deal with my illness when I set out on my journey to fame and fortune. My email is in my profile, and I will also email you.

So don't worry, you're not alone, and there are us out here who do care.

Thanks man, caring is worth more than money and success to me. You can't buy caring with money or anything else, people choose to care or not care.

orionblastar@gmail.com if anyone wants to contact me via email.

Snap (sort of).

My sister's father in law used to work for AT&T. He was based in England working as a project manager, but he travelled all over the place. Next time I see him I'll ask when he worked for them, since it was around 1983 that AT&T was broken up.

I started learning C just over two years ago (you beat me to it by 25 years), it was only recently that I put the two together.

I got a friend in Hong Kong that helps me run blastar.in and we do virtual machines in QEMU of old operating systems like IBM OS/2 2.0 and Windows NT 3.1 Advanced Server and each one has a Visual C++ or C compiler in it. Even some FORTRAN compiler as well.

He made this Windows NT 4.0 MIPS virtual machine using QEMU-MIPS and it has a Visual C++ for it that also does C90 I think. He compiled a version of Conway's Life in it for fun. There are these Watcom C/C++ compilers as well, Google for OpenWatcom for the free versions of them they exist for OS/2, DOS, and Windows compiling and I think they even use C90 standards.

http://blastar.in/

We are trying to do retro software in QEMU virtual machines, we got a collection of Unix images between us like some old SunOS and Solaris stuff, etc. Got Solaris in QEMU-SPARC running for a bit but had problems with the network stack. Older versions work but Solaris 7 seems to have a NIC bug in the kernel.

My father worked for Western Electric, 1-ESS switches, had tried to turn them into minicomputers running Unix System V and other stuff by working with Bell Labs and other divisions. I think the 1983 breakup put a stop to that. He did some work on a DEC PDP I am not 100% sure but I think a PDP-11 or something using Unix. When I was young he introduced me to Dennis Richie, who told me to learn Unix and C when I was older. They even wanted to hire me at AT&T when I turned 18 in 1986, until the breakups prevented that. So in 1987 I was in college and took a C class, it helped me learn a lot of different languages out there. Sort of like learning Latin or Greek if you ask me.

My father died in 2010 of brain and lung cancer. But I am still trying to get things done. If you want to work on a project let me know, I might know others who know C90 and can join in via retro legacy programming.

I do a little freelance work for money but what I do writing and does not pay well. You might be able to do freelance work for better pay. Here are a couple sites for that, in case you did not know:

https://grouptalent.com/welcome/

https://www.elance.com/