Seriously? I don't even know C# and the "var q0" was enough to suggest the type of whatever Where returns is not an array of int (as opposed to the two functions above, with int and bool types), so why would I expect it to have filtered the array and returned it?

Ditto for the 2nd example: in this one it's even more clear that Select is returning IEnumerable<int>, not int[].

In C# the using statement causes the variable initialized at the entry of the block to be automatically disposed of when control flow reaches the end of the block. [...] surprising exception far away in time and space

There should be nothing "surprising" about that; maybe it is if you don't know C#. One of the first things that beginning C and C++ programmers learn rather quickly is never to return pointers to local variables or put those someplace where they'll need to be used after the function returns. How is this any different?

Imperative programs describe computations by repeatedly performing implicit effects on a shared global state. In a parallel/concurrent/distributed world, however, a single global state is an unacceptable bottleneck

Except that this "global state" is not really one thing, and it's not like all of its parts are modified by any one effect.

It appears that this "fundamentalist functional programming" the article is advocating is attempting to make programming more like math and distancing it farther from the real world by adding more abstraction, and if anything, I think abstraction is one thing that a lot of software these days needs far less of.

(Sorry if this is too rantlike, I have somewhat of a visceral reaction to these "the sky is falling!" style of articles...)