Yeah, I feel that pain when browsing PHPbb-style forums and reading mailing lists, but the 4chan/2chan/futaba UI solved this problem over a decade ago.[1] Each post has an associated number, and clicking it inserts a >>[post number] link into your comment. You can then hover over the >>links in any post to see a floating preview of the post in question, or click the link to be taken to the post directly. Any links to your posts have (You) next to them to make it easier to know when someone is replying to you. At the top of every post is a link to every post that linked to it. In addition, if you're replying to a large post, or one that contained multiple side conversations in it, it's common courtesy to include a
small literal quote under the quote link.
Put it all together and a typical thread might look something like this:
Anonymous No. 1 Replies: >>2, >>3
I like posting here a lot better than posting on Hacker news.
Anonymous No. 2
For what reason, >>1_(You)?
Bob Saget No. 3 Replies: >>4
>>1_(You)
I don't really like multi-threaded discussion models either. Way too hard for me to follow.
Anonymous No. 4
>>3
>I don't really like multi-threaded discussion models either. Way too hard for me to follow.
I strongly disagree, you are stupid.
With this system, I find it very easy to navigate anything from month-long threads with medium to large sized posts and very linear conversations, to threads that last a few hours and accumulate hundreds of small to medium sized posts that span dozens of simultaneous conversations.
>I also like the way Reddit notifies you of replies. It helps you avoid missing replies in the mess of a large thread.
4chan has a few similar systems. You can set a thread to automatically update every few seconds, or you can "watch" a thread so that even if you close the tab, you can see when new posts arrive. Also, in addition to the (You) next to links to your posts, when a thread updates, any posts that link to your posts are colored differently until you scroll past them. So these systems make it easy to follow entire threads in progress, not just the people directly talking to you.
I totally get that 4chan and company are not everyone's thing, but I don't understand why very few sites that aren't already 2chan or futaba clones borrow elements from its design. They're very usable while being minimalistic and low-tech; even without javascript and most of the goodies I mentioned disabled, its still very easy to use. Meanwhile, web forums are huge and clunky and filled to the brim with verbatim block quotes and obnoxious avatars, the average mailing list email is an enormous email quote followed by a single line of commentary, etc...