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Comment by wyager | Hacker News Reader

>Not everyone has the will... to do such a thing.

This may just be crotchety old man talk, but sometimes I wonder if the extremely protective child-rearing (particularly in schools) that seems to be abundant today will make future adults particularly susceptible to this kind of bullying.

If you never have to deal with this kind of social stress as a child, how can you possibly deal with it as an adult?

Perhaps getting bossed around on the playground is a good way to train the mind to appropriately deal with intimidation from employers, salesmen, etc.

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Being humiliated and beaten as a child with no control over the situation is not "training" for anything. It's abundantly clear that you did not experience that and have no idea what it is like for a child. Let's hope as a crotchety old man that nobody ever decides to show you what it's like when you're stuck in a nursing home where no one believes or cares to help you because of some stupid reason like that it should toughen you up.

Geez man.

I think it is pretty much the norm that most kids get bullied to some extent. You can usually tell the ones that have had a sheltered life.

I disagree. Most kids have experienced that, and in older times quite more than today with over-protection.

Unless we're talking of extreme situations (which we were not), it helps to build defenses against these kind of things and be more vigilant and aware of other's tactics.

Some kind of "toughening" kids up with adverse situation (as opposed to over-protecting them) has been part of human culture for milenia, from Sparta to Native American tribes.

>Being humiliated and beaten as a child with no control over the situation is not "training" for anything. It's abundantly clear that you did not experience that and have no idea what it is like for a child. Let's hope as a crotchety old man that nobody ever decides to show you what it's like when you're stuck in a nursing home where no one believes or cares to help you because of some stupid reason like that it should toughen you up.

Perhaps you should not make such unfounded assumptions. It would also behoove you to refrain from such overt ad hominem argument.

Do you think I was never a child? I speak from experience, not conjecture. I can't say the same for your vitriolic response.

As a child, I went through many situations that were very stressful for me at the time, but ultimately helped to construct a number of helpful psychological responses to aggression. Those responses are very useful in the real world. Contrary to what teachers may have you believe, bullying does not end in school. It simply becomes more subtle.

I would argue more that the instilled mindset of "do as the authority figures say, you have no influence in the matter" that's pervasive in schools also does a huge amount to train adults to not feel like they have this option. That takes a lot to overwrite when it's instilled in you for the first 18 years of your life.

Yes. I read someone recently who advocated for ensuring your child got in trouble in school quite early on - for something non-violent, minor (maybe uniform infringements or talking in class) so that they could see that the whole world won't collapse if they do something their teacher disagrees with.

One of my young child's (c.5-6 at the time) teachers made their claimed authority explicit in demanding that they be obeyed "first time every time" without the chance to question or consider what they were being asked - that's a bit too close to demanding mindlessness for my liking, terribly arrogant too.

Agreed. And adding to that, you have the general mindset of people telling their young adult offspring that they're "fortunate" to find a "good job" and they should, therefore, suck it up and live with whatever kind of injustice is forced upon them. All for that paycheck.

Agreed. I can see how that could be even more damaging to the development of healthy psychological defense mechanisms than a lack of aggression from peers.

> This may just be crotchety old man talk, but sometimes I wonder if the extremely protective child-rearing (particularly in schools) that seems to be abundant today will make future adults particularly susceptible to this kind of bullying.

I wonder how much of the structure of the school system is bullying, or built around encouraging it.

Vicious unthinking rules applied more for the administration and teacher's benefit than anything else. An environment where you're deprived of meaningful achievement and put under continual stress for largely meaningless exams....

When kids have so little influence in the nature of their environment, teachers are running a stupid rule book, and where 'accomplishment' is so meaningless with respect to what's personally fulfilling, is it really going to be surprising if people grow up without much confidence?

After all, what opportunity would they have had to exercise it?

Rest assured, children are still being bullied quite regularly.

Kids have it worse today if anything. Once they go home they continue to get tormented online.

>This may just be crotchety old man talk, but sometimes I wonder if the extremely protective child-rearing (particularly in schools) that seems to be abundant today will make future adults particularly susceptible to this kind of bullying.

Teaching children to respect authority figures will make them susceptible to this kind of bullying.

Exposing children to physical assault is not going to be any help whatsoever during future contract negotiations. Probably it will be a hindrance, in fact.

i'm in my 30s and i am in total agreement with you: the modern helicopter parents are so preoccupied with "bullying" that the next generation of kids are going to be soft-minded nitwits on the average. catching a beatdown on the playground now and again made me who i am today and i would never have had it any other way.

having the balls or wisdom to walk away from a situation where you're being bullied, whether literally or figuratively, is becoming rarer nowadays.

Which do you think is more likely to affect assertiveness: overprotective parents or a lack of leverage in the employment market?

I take the fact that you reduced OP's statement

> Not everyone has the will, nor the financial wherewithal, to do such a thing.

>Not everyone has the will... to do such a thing.

as an indication that you think economics plays a secondary role in this story. I disagree and I'd like to know why you think that's the case.

No, I agree with you that economic factors are generally more important. I just thought the "will" part was more interesting to talk about.

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