So telling major Linux distros == telling the public. At this point, you have to decide whether you want to forewarn big hosters handling millions of sites and billions of visits like Cloudflare, Google, AWS, etc., or not. I don't think there's a good universal answer to this.
The importance of telling large distros doesn't lie in them immediately releasing a fix; it lies in them being able to prepare a package with the fix before the announcement, and then exactly when the announcement happens, they can publish the package (and possibly do something to make it propagate faster to their distribution servers)
As is, when Heartbleed was announced, many distros took an hour or significantly more to offer a fixed package. Proof-of-concept exploits were also made in that time. That was a dangerous situation.
I fully expect critical vulnerabilities that are "responsibly disclosed" to be reported to major distros so that packages can be prepared, but not released, in advance; furthermore, it allows people to be ready when it's announced at an agreed-upon date so that the packages can be pushed to live.
I'd actually be okay with a system where smaller distros which use similar packaging formats to larger ones are alerted with "There is an exploit. We will publish a fixed package that will likely be compatible with your distro on DATE. Be awake then to make sure these changes go live quickly, not when one key dude wakes up in 5 hours".
Sorry for the long-winded comment. What I really wanted to do is just explain "no way to share ... deploy a fix ... without making it public" is not the reason for sharing. The reason for sharing is so that the fix can be deployed more quickly when it is deployed.
Other than that, yes, that's exactly the notion.
Considering the circumstances, it appears that the process that was followed with regards to the release was as flawless as it could have been.
AFAICT, none of this happened here. A very small number of organizations was told in advance, but nobody knows what the criteria were to get on this special advance notice list. Given how completely off-guard some really big organizations were caught (yahoo, for instance; all the linux distros, etc), this could have been handled a lot better.
The reality is that the open source community isn't vetted like an intelligence agency when it comes to holding secrets to their vest. It only takes one person in all those OSS communities to leak to the press about something of this magnitude and then the result could be even worse. The fact that this was kept under wraps for 12 days (that we know) is a testament to the folks who made the decision whom to inform.
It seems (barring evidence saying otherwise) that CloudFlare managed to keep it secret while working on it, so they were proper to have in the n.