1) Have Apple branded computer - check.
2) Do not know how to add content to a CMS - check.
3) Incapable of making the smallest tweak to CSS - check.
4) Move files around with a DropBox type gadget and have to get a 'developer' to 'FTP' that PDF to a server - check.
5) Only 'design' for Mac screens with a minimum resolution of Full HD even though the iphone has been out for a while - check.
6) Take inspiration from the latest site-du-jour in a me-too copy-and-paste way, bringing no blue sky thinking to the table - check.
7) Think in terms of CMYK and DPI at all times - check.
8) Never use client content in mock ups, go for Lorem Ipsum when shapes on a page are needed - check.
9) Throw a tantrum if a developer or client makes the slightest change from the cast in stone design mockups for a good reason such as usability - check.
10) Mock 'Comic Sans' - wow I am a real designer now!!!