1. Take pic of your white van. 2. Post pic with description and mileage on craigslist. 3. Don't mention what happened in the back of the van in '99. 3. Get a couple emails. 4. Sell it to the highest bidder.

Who's too stupid to not figure this out and needs a service?

Okay, so they pay you more than the dealership. That's a selling point. But I could find someone on Craigslist and sell it to them for more.