Hacker News Reader

Comment by JazCE | Hacker News Reader

I'm more intrigued by the reaction of the families. Is this a normal reaction from Chinese families?

Outrageously cold and immature to imply that the family members are overreacting and worse to imply that it might be related to their ethnicity. They've been given false hope for two weeks. I cannot begin to imagine the emotional torture they've had to endure.

Why wouldn't you expect how one outwardly reacts to a tragedy to be affected by one's culture and society? You are reading way more into his comment than he intended.

Normal based upon what? Normal reaction for families with relatives on a flight missing for two weeks with no news about what happened to it?

point taken, but it does seem very extreme. did this happen during 9/11?

edit Also, are the families of NZ nationals, Australian, French etc behaving the same as the asians?

You're still wildly over-generalising. Why do you think that the Chinese, or 'Asians' can be categorised together? Why do you think that people from a country will, as a group, behave in an identical or similar way?

Why do you think they cannot? Or do you think that the thing called "culture" does not exist? How people show or do not show grief can and is the cultural thing.

China, let alone Asia, is not one "culture".

I think you're the only one who understood my comment.

Your remarks come out as really insensitive, although I don't think they were made with that intent. There is no possible way to imagine what it feels like to be in their situation.

The remarks weren't made with the intent of being cold and insensitive, though i admit i'm not the most sensitive of people.

edit: who knew asking about human/cultural behaviour was so frowned upon.

The problem for me was that it felt like the people were dehumanized and reduced to their culture in a situation which is so incredibly unique and must be so difficult to bear. This being said, maybe the issue is only that of timing and your question would be more pertinent later in time, after all the emotion has settled down.

I have trouble figuring out exactly what you're asking here.

Are you asking whether it's normal for people to scream, cry, or collapse after being told that a relative is dead?

That's what it seems like, but such a question is about on the same level as asking whether it's normal for a bear to relieve himself in a forest, so I'm confused.

What specifically do you deem as being "extreme"?

Why are you referencing the terror attacks on 9/11?

In the case of the Kiwis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI6TRTBZUMM#t=63. Is this group of screaming, chest-beating men any different in their expression of grief?

In the case of the Aussies: http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2012/aug/02/london-2012-aus.... Is this swimmer's loss really more significant than the loss of one's family and friends? I mean...no one died and this wasn't 9/11...right? Why is she crying, hiding her face, and hunched over?

In the case of the French: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2117014/Toulouse-sho.... This woman didn't even lose any family (maybe) and yet she has smashed her fists to the window, pressed her head close to the coffins, and is openly weeping.

I mean, look at these Americans: http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1360633/philip-seymour-hoffma... (http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/philip-seymour-hoffman-actor-strugg...). A freaking actor died and they're weeping and moping.

My point is that I don't fully understand what your intentions were, but I feel that your comments come across as xenophobic and disrespectful to the families who are currently experiencing loss.

I'm really surprised by the downvotes and reactions you're getting.

Seeing people scream and faint, having to be carried out on stretchers upon hear the news, is not a reaction that North Americans are used to seeing. It is not "normal" to see North Americans react that way. That's not a condemnation against those who do, it's just a statement of fact. OP then asked if it's "normal" for Chinese families, without any implication that they're wrong in doing it. I suspect there would have been slightly less backlash if he asked if it was common.

I was immediately curious about the same thing. I pondered whether or not China's "one child" restrictions could make these losses that much worse. Upon reflection, I thought that I might consider having at least two children in order to make such a tragic event slightly more bearable.

Or, perhaps the media singled out the most extreme reaction and it isn't typical.

The difference is noteworthy enough to make one curious, and there isn't anything wrong with that.

What is so "intriguing" about it ? Try losing a family member in such a horrible way that you don't even know what happened to them. Then, ask the same question to yourself (whatever race/ethnicity) you belong to. Comments like yours is the reason HN needs comment moderation badly.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com