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Comment by jd0 | Hacker News Reader

And I, as a male, try not to stare at anybody because I'm not a fucking asshole.

If someone is rendering a public performance, aren't you supposed to look at it? When does hula hooping in a public space transfer to a public performance? Is it public immediately because it's in plain sight? Does it only become public after an audience gathers and the hula hooper continues to hula hoop? What if someone sees the gathered audience and joins in so that they won't be considered rude for not taking interest in the public hula hooping performance?

It's not really as clear cut as "staring makes you an asshole." I've found that in a workplace people will have wildly variable interpretations of the same event. The only solution is to work with mature adults who can assume good faith and work out their own issues. This almost never happens, so instead companies create hyper-sanitized environments where everything is against the rules.

I agree with your points, and also I really have a hard time believing that the women hula hooping to music in the middle of the office were not aware of the effect they were having.

While personally I think its creepy to just hang out and leer at them, it's not really against societal norms in any way.

It's not like these guys broke into the girls bathroom to watch this or something.

Well maybe something is wrong with societal norms then? Because honestly if the focus was just watch attractive women hula hoop I would think it's creepy too but I wouldn't just say it's alright because of societal norms.

But I think it's impossible to really judge this situation without the context. Did other people decide to participate or was it really just two girls hula hooping the whole time? It boils down to was the mentality from the males perspective "oh hey, cool, people are hula hooping!" or "oh hey, the two attractive girls are hula hooping and I want to gawk at them!" The first one is fine, the second one is not.

Don't take this the wrong way. I think hula hooping is a fine activity that probably burns a decent amount of calories. However, I've never worked at a job where employees jumps through these kind of hoops. I will probably look. And then look away. Pretty much everyone I know will think hula hooping at work is weird. If people tend to stare at you when you hula hoop, do hand stands, or pick your nose you may just have to stop doing it. Most people do not do these things at work and are happy nonetheless.

Yeah. I think everything up to that point was inexcusable. Horvath wasn't really doing any justice to an already strong case by feeling offense for the sake of others. If it was just basic hula hooping, I'm not quite sure what would be interesting, but both music and movement are distracting. If it wasn't an attempt to perform, it was probably a distracting display. Hell, I'd probably be on the bench too, waiting for my turn! There's no need to assume this was sexual and I think Horvath may have been projecting her horrible experiences onto these new colleagues.

> I'm not a fucking asshole.

The majority of your judgemental and passive/aggressive posts in this thread suggest otherwise.

So all people who don't confirm to your social norms are fucking assholes? Btw, did you ever travel to countries like Germany or Czech Republic? People there do stare. A lot. Nations of assholes, I guess.

I wonder what do you think about people who don't speak English or who don't eat their food with a forks but with other ustensils.

I've been to both Germany and the Czech Republic. At no point did I think 'Hmm.. people here appear to be staring at things at an above-average rate'. Maybe where I come from (the UK) we also stare at a particularly high rate (whatever that is) but I'm unaware of this being the case.

What on earth are you talking about?

So I take it you abstain from attending any presentations, talks, or conferences? Or do you just turn your chair around and face the back?

We bow to your perfection.

It really isn't that hard not to stare at people. It doesn't take a perfectionist.

Perhaps they liked it, I would even say it's the most likely variant.

'Stare' is not the best word. I have to agree.

really?

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