> My general impression about being a boss is that "one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself" does not apply for such situation.

LOL. How does this not apply: "As a boss I should treat my employees the way I would like my boss to treat me." Any reasonable person understands that the professional context means that the relationship between boss/employee is not the same as friend/friend, stranger-on-subway/stranger-on-subway.

> military style boss might value...that's just an example.

That is a terrible, contrived example based on some strange concept/stereotype/cliche of military leadership. What branch of the service were you in? Did your well respected NCOs run around acting like the guy from Office Space and pester people about their TPS reports?