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Comment by mapgrep | Hacker News Reader

So it's respectful to forward someone's entire email verbatim without their permission, to talk about said person behind his back, and to spread a simple email introduction over four time-consuming emails instead of two? But it's NOT respectful to just, like, quickly and painlessly introduce the people and assume if it's unwanted it will be ignored like all unwanted email?

I'm not saying your technique is definitely WRONG, but I am saying you shouldn't assume it's superior.

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You don't have to forward anything - you can just shoot a quick email to the person and say "Hey, I was talking to _____, who is trying to _____. I thought you might be a good person for him to talk to because _______. He might also be good to know because _______. Do you mind if I make an introduction?"

true - sometimes i do that - but often i might not get some of the nuance of what person 1 does as well as they would have described. i've found that it's much harder to recover from incorrect perceptions/assumptions than it is to get them right the first time...

again, i care most about the double opt-in part - the rest is just my method. there are many ways to do it right. :)

So it's respectful to [...] talk about said person behind his back

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Sure. If you honestly respect them, then your words will portray that respect. If you don't respect them, then you maybe oughtnt to be making the intro in the first place.

chill - i inform the person I'm introing that i will be forwarding it, they are very aware.

and no, unwanted email coming from someone i value the relationship with carries negativity and tarnishes my relationship.

Ah, so now we're up to five emails. Seems like a lot of work and wasted time.

To each his own, it doesn't get me personally exercised, but I don't think you've got much leg to stand on judging others.

when did i "judge others"? seriously? before this becomes some weird ad hominem thing, let's leave it with: go do your intros however you'd like, and good luck in life, i really don't care that much about this yet still feel i'm entitled to my opinion, thanks.

The judgy bit was "it just isn't courteous or respectful."

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, where did I say otherwise?

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