For me though I need more. I need to not know if I will come out alive, I need genuine hospitality that need not be paid for, I need to meet people along the way that are not directly connected to the tourism industry. I need to be treated as a guest and a human being, not just a nice-enough tourist. I also don't need to be poking cameras in people's faces or writing about them. In summary, I need adventure, as in the stuff you cannot have an itinerary for.
In some ways your back-packers comparing notes on who stayed in the scummiest places are a bit like my relatives, just at a different point in life and on a different trail. At times on my travels I have crossed paths with them and their backpacker dives, however, I am typically able to avoid all that. I can call someone up that I met on the road and stay with them, unannounced. They might live in some unusual house, have some interesting job and be more than willing to give me an insider view of town rather than what I would discover as a tourist. That is what 'authentic travel' is about.
I should say that I have a secret weapon - a bicycle. With a bicycle you don't stay in the small out of the way places just to be more 'cool'. It is a necessity, you cannot just blast 500 miles along the big highway, at best you can do 50 miles in one burst before needing to stop for at least water, and on little roads 'off the tourist trail'. On the bicycle there is no windscreen between you and the world, you are actually in it and part of it.
Regarding writing, a retrospective account is always wrong, even if filled with tedious 'specifics'. There is no way of conveying genuine anticipation once the moment has gone, in your writing this knowing-the-answer-already aspect is not something you can disguise honestly, merely feign as the feeling has passed.