How to survive a job you hate

Also as noted by a couple of others is Go, Dart, etc. really the best technologies to be learning right now in your area (both technically and geographically). I don't know the NZ tech world at all but if it is anything like London (and most other places) then get a solid knowledge in the main business languages such as Java. Obviously don't just follow my advice blindly but research into companies in your areas and learn learn learn!

I sincerely hope your depression improves.

Work isn't meant to be fun and games, but neither is it meant to be a torture or an exercise in masochism. If its not working out, you need to make a change. Like with bad relationships, the longer you stay, the worse it gets.

So start planning your exit. I hate to sound cliched, but the journey of a thousand steps really does start with one. Good luck!

As for the rest of it, you've just entered the most in demand profession on the planet, you've got a degree in it and already have prior experience.

You've got a lot to be hopeful (and proud) about. Build relationships and you will find work to love, not endure.

I need to learn this advice.

> if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.

Where I struggle is when someone make a very stupid decision, and part of that decision is making it my problem. They just keep lumping more and more responsibilities my way. It's at the point where I'm coming in from 1am-5am most weeks, I get called late on Sunday nights, etc. etc. I'm a salaried employee and not paid for that.

> in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.

Me too, and I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If I stopped caring, I'd be useless. I think I need to find the middle ground.

* subject to the terms of your employment agreement and applicable state and federal law.

Looks like 3-year-old me was on to something when I was bugging my parents about how absolutely everything worked.

That said, while this seems like an excellent tool for something like car diagnostics, as described in the wikipedia article, I'd be more hesitant to try it with a person and their motivations unless it was someone I was incredibly close with. I'd especially feel weird doing it with a direct superior. It seems like in most circumstances it would be difficult to word a line of questioning like this in a way that didn't seem like criticizing their judgement.

Thanks for sharing this! I hadn't seen this outlined like this before and I can see it being really useful

The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc). So they keep showing up, in the misplaced opinion that it will get better.

But it doesn't, and one day all their fears are realised, when they wake up to find they are no longer employable, because they spent all their time just coasting through life, doing the bare minimum.

If a person is in this situation, they need to accept responsibility, and start making plans to move on. This process is hard and time consuming, which is why I say: First improve your skills, then move to a better job. Don't move from one Dilbert company to another. Rather, move to some place that will recognise and reward your skills.

If you are facing bullying, racism or sexism (or indeed any other -ism), then yes, leave immediately.

But for most of us, it's not outright bullying, but the constant grinding down, the non-stop requests for overtime, the occasional "helpful comments" that are actually insults, the constant interference, that really gets us down. Individually, they might mean nothing, but over time, they build up, and make you feel as small as the full stop at the end of this sentence. That's when you must plan to leave, but by first upgrading your skills.

If you're not predisposed to make the best of a bad situation, then every bad situation you find yourself in will seem like a dead end. In reality, some bad situations may even be opportunities for growth and change, instead of just being barriers to overcome. If someone has a particularly nonconstructive outlook, just about every situation might might seem like an insurmountable dead end.

To quote Sarah Silverman, "when life gives you AIDS, make lemon AIDS!"

Wait, what?

I'm in complete agreement. The OP seems undecided what his point is supposed to be. "Keep it together until you can get out" would make sense, except for that harped upon quote, and the fact he also talks about "finding out what negative patterns are holding you back from your goals", which really only applies if you keep having crap jobs; one crap job doesn't mean you have a negative pattern you need to get rid of.

Too true, I was in the situation awhile ago of being checked-out at a bad job. I realized that I needed to turn around, despite really positive feedback from the management about improving performance, it did nothing to improve the management's ineptness. Most of my proposals of even basic industry practices like using Git to manage our code base, and switch to using a CSS framework were met with smiles but resisted.

The company inevitably self-imploded, largely due some egregiously bad management decisions. I was laid off, but at least I had gotten used to a workflow that made my skills more marketable...

This is very good advice, but so rarely followed.

The problem is, most programmers are shy and reserved, and besides, they don't understand (or at least I didn't) that their problems aren't unique. That hundreds and thousands of programmers before them have faced this exact problem and survived. And not just survived, but thrived.

In the long term, it doesn't matter. But in the short term, it can feel like the world is ending.

I'd be stuffing resumes into every other related job I could find because the grass can only be greener in a situation like that.

- If you love your job you shouldn't leave it for any reason

- Conditions and circumstances don't matter, do something you like

- Your 8h at work are more important than the 16h left in the day

I now follow a few rules before accepting a package like this:

1. It must be pro-rata- That means that the amount you need to pay back must go down with time. So if you leave after 1 year of a 2 year notice period, you must only pay back 50%.

2. Like you discovered, the company can overpay for services and stick you with the bill. So always insist on paying for relocation yourself, and get money back via a expenses form. You will be short of cash in the short term, but it will save you pain in the long term.

3. If possible, try to negotiate a "hiring bonus." This may not be possible unless you are famous (or needed for a critical project), but if you can get the company to give you some extra cash, you can pay for relocation yourself. This is the best option, as you owe the company nothing.