When you live in a major city and the dating options are boundless, there is always someone around the corner that is "perfect" or more perfect than the current person that you are dating. Next thing you know, you're in your late 30s and still single.
The amount of ifs, ands, and buts in this caveat means it's time to defer to one of my favorite xkcd's of all time. [0]
* you can improve your character: confidence is important, if you feel ugly sometimes you can do stuff about it (i.e. go to gym). Ditto if you are a boring talker, or if you are a poor listener.
* grind. If you are, like I was, a guy that has a couple hours on a weekend to meet a new possible date it's hard to find the "right" one. Try to increase the chances (go out more, frequent new places) and do try more.
These days I am just lazily sending out messages on OKCupid. And when I do go out to bars, I almost never approach.
So the "grind" reminder is totally fair.
(just kidding and don't take it personal - this one was too easy to pass up...)
If you want excitement, you'll get excitement. If you want stability, you'll get stability. If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get.
Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.
Then laugh drunkenly at your own joke - that bit's important.
Worked for me - married over 10 years now.