I think you are over-thinking this.
Sorry, couldn't resist.Seriously though, try attending a few hackathons. If there aren't any in the area around you consider participating in online game dev challenges or similar.
I used to (and still do, to a certain degree) have the same problem as you. My company hired a manager/developer for a new project - at the "meet the new manager drinks party" I wound up speaking with him for a good long time. After learning that he was a strict Agile developer I asked to be placed into his team. The time in that team changed me forever (even though I am back in my old one now).
You change yourself by doing, not talking.