Ask HN: Do you see a therapist? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Do you see a therapist?

12 pointsseancoleman13 comments

With such common occurrences of mental illness, depression and anxiety disorders in the startup community, do founders (and non-founders) regularly seek psychological therapy to better handle stress?

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I have, yes. Problem is, therapy isn't much more effective than placebo these days. Psychoanalysis has largely been shown to not work... There are things you can do, however. Gratitude is probably the single highest expected value activity you can do for your mental health. Also, developing a practice to fully feel and process / access emotions. Happy to share more and talk if you need.. anthony @ 175g . com

PS - I also work as a coach with high performers and have helped a number of folks on Hacker News for free who have reached out, and happy to do the same for you or anyone else.

I'm sure a lot of us would like to read a blog post or article if you are willing to write one, doesn't have to be about your personal experiences but I'd really like to read a HN-esque article on mental health

I was thinking of putting together an article / video on this as I usually spend an hour covering the same basics when I do a free session. I'll work on it today.

I'd strongly disagree with your statement that psychoanalysis doesn't work, just from personal experience. In the aggregate it may not work for everyone (and there's the minor issue that saying "psychoanalysis" is a bit like saying "programming" - there are a lot of schools of therapy and a wide range of abilities within those schools), but it's certainly helped me a great deal.

It may very well have worked for you. The data seems to a show that about 1/3 stay the same, 1/3 get better and 1/3 get worse. When I say psychoanalysis I mean it in the classical Freudian sense, and yes there are some things that seem to work better than others. I read that the average American has .8 intimate friendships - I think having a relationship where you feel comfortable expressing some of your emotion and inner life is valueable for sure and can be healing.

Can you point me to the study (ies) you're talking about here? I'd be interested to look into this further, but would like to be sure we're both discussing the same thing.

I'm not a founder or co-founder, but I started to see a therapist or counselor about 2 years ago. My level of stress was mounting and I was falling into depression. I had just gone through some pretty big transitions, but I realized it was too much for me to handle on my own. After going to counseling regularly, I started to feel like I really regained control over my emotions and decisions. I could organize my time much better, and, although not necessarily "Mr. Peppy!", I got back much of my spunk and personality that had started to slip away.

If anyone is thinking about it, I highly recommend it; if you think you need it, it probably won't hurt. And don't be discouraged if the first counselor doesn't fit; it took a few before I found one that was comfortable to talk to and that could challenge me to actually make progress in myself.

We went to a therapist [Licensed Clinical Social Worker] for marriage counseling at two different times in our 18 years of wedded bliss. These are decisions I have never regretted.

For context my spouse is a therapist - hospice, oncology, Alzheimer's and geriatrics over the past twenty odd years - so I am perhaps biased.

Yes. To talk about startup anxiety, but also balancing everything else in life. I think the desire to problem solve also extends to life issues, and sometimes this gets unhealthy if it all stays in my head.

That's really well put. The desire to constantly problem solve doesn't let you relax and clear your mind at times. I saw one recently but found the advice lacking, felt like a waste of time and money.

Therapy is as effective as medication for many conditions, and more effective for some. But you don't need a condition or even stress to talk to one.

Yes I see a therapist. I see it as no more controversial than seeing a physical therapist for injuries, or a personal trainer to tone yourself, or a coach to train for a sport.

As a programmer, my brain is my work. My therapist is a resource for me to use to improve myself.

And I want to live in a world where there is no more stigma for having a therapist then a trainer, and where being in a support group isn't any more shameful than joining a gym class. Not to mention that being on an antidepressant should be seen like being on insulin for a diabetic.

The only stigma that should exist is a mild one for people that don't get treatment when they have an issue, and that should be mitigated if their issue makes seeking treatment hard.

BTW, if anyone cannot afford a therapist and just needs to talk to someone, check out:

blahtherapy.com

Because sometimes you just need to get things off of your chest.

I did therapy years ago. It has it's uses. But I think there are plenty of other things that work better in some sense. It depends in part on where you are in your journey, good fit with the therapist in question, and other factors.

If you have genuine friends of the sort you can spill your guts to and/or people who can act as a sounding board, that can be really helpful. Also reading up on some things about how humans work can help. Plus learn some basic stress management, which is often about basic self-care. When I was raising special needs kids, I learned that a short nap, a tall glass of water and/or something to eat was sometimes the difference between "I can't take another minute of this!!!" and "The sun will come out tomorrow..."

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