How to stop giving a f**k what people think. | Hacker News Reader

How to stop giving a f**k what people think.

code-love.com

22 pointsRogerh9119 comments

I couldn't find a point in the article where it explained why it censored 'fuck' in not only the title, but everywhere in the article body. It's not particularly compelling evidence that given advice works.

Say 'fuck' or don't say it. Don't censor it - you come off as weak-willed to everyone, because either you're too weak to actually say it, or you don't have the wherewithal to find one of the plethora of other ways to give the same opinion.

The friend who wrote this says he doesn't give a fuck.

I believe that's not the takeaway point of the article. But that's my opinion.

I saw the censored fuck and immediately couldn't see anything else.

Fucking have a goddamned fucking opinion, or don't. Who is the author trying to impress with censorship? Asterisks won't get you more retweets.

The value isn't so much in not giving a fuck what people think, but rather being very selective about who you do give a fuck about.

I have a wife, and two children, and a handful of friends whose opinions of me and my decisions are utterly critical to my happiness and well being. If I lost their confidence, I don't see what the point of anything else would be. But for most people, even friends, I don't really give a fuck.

I guess another way of saying this is that there are two ways you can end up not giving a fuck what people think. First, you can be very confident in your own righteousness, or second, you simply don't care whether you're right or not. The latter sounds like a very sad and awful place to be, to me. It kinda means you don't give a fuck about what you think of yourself, either.

Don't stop giving a fuck about what people think. Do give a fuck. Give plenty. Make sure to give them a reason to think good about you. Take an interest in people. Think about them, for a change. A very smart person once told me "Listen, and they will follow."

You do have a good point. Most people in this world are used to not being listened to. So if you take an active interest in others, as a friend OR a company, then you'll benefit in the long run (ie recommend you, think about you when it comes time to choose a product, etc)

They may have been smart, but trite little sayings prove nothing.

Tell me, what would you do?

Do stuff for yourself, if other people like what you make they will buy it.

I used to listen to what others had to say, I would get all sorts of useless feedback and bad advice. It led me to a really bad confidence problem that effected my work and lowered my potential. When I started to do things the way I wanted to, I make things better and did better software and writing.

Strongly agree. Initially people usually give you feedback even without knowing what exactly you provide. They don't have the patience to look into that. But if you persists to show the benefit in a comprehensive way and really give them benefit, I think they will buy it.

As one who has checked off most of that growth-list, I disagree with him.

You can't help giving a fuck, you can choose to do the opposite of what common sense tells you, but if you are socially inept it's just likely to screw you over.

When expressing something profound (i.e. not just chitchat) I almost always assess the situation first, are these my friends? does what I have to say make a difference? most importantly, am I positive what I say and how I'll say it will be respected?

Saying something correct, in an incorrect manner relative to the situation, will not get you the respect the author claims. His post is wholly for him, just another all-knowing Oprah.

I went running in the street, stripped down to only my pants, in the rain, singing it's raining men. My company loved it, my dad probably wouldn't have.

Yes, stop giving a fuck what people say. But do give a fuck about other people's problems... ask about them, inquire about them.. then profit from them ^_^

This is quite simple, but is full of good recommendations, personally I will take ideas from there to more fordward.

http://release-technique.com

Improves all aspects of your life, not only that.

This "other people aren't thinking about you" thing - I hear or read this every three seconds. It's a chestnut. Yeah, there's some truth to it... sometimes... maybe? It depends who and when? I know that I spend a lot of time thinking about other specific people, and I can't be the only one on the planet who does. I think this tired advice is more of an "act as if" thing.

Either that or the rest of you are far more self-involved than even I thought.

You are quite literally one in seven billion. You could spend all day every day thinking about a given person and it would still be absolutely true that people in general do not give that person a second's thought on average. You could object to any general truism with "it depends who and when" — that is true, but not insightful. There are babies for whom mother's milk is deadly, but it's still a biological fact that babies benefit from nursing.

I know that nobody in, e.g. London, is thinking about me. Nobody is talking about that. Among my boss, my coworkers, my family, my various caretakers, my dates, my fellow sportspeople, and my friends - if they're never thinking about me, then, well, fuck them. I think about them. That we mean 'in your little bubble in the world' seems to be implied.

It's generally true on any meaningful scale (i.e. if your sample size is "my stalker," no, it's not true, but that isn't really relevant). There are always outliers, but in general, for a general "you" and any reasonable number of general "people," the people aren't thinking about you that much — and I mean, why should they be thinking about you all the time?

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