One thing I can suggest. Don't commute to work and if you do make it as short as possible. This time is wasted.
(At least until I stumbled on a good book - totally off the wagon now)
I talked about it here: http://justinjackson.ca/remote/
I also find that having a little psychic space between work and home helps me better regulate intrusions between them.
If it's a good book or episode I sometimes look forward to the time to myself in my car.