NetFlix and YouTube do not pay the ISPs anything. ISPs are not some cloud based company selling software, they are a utility company with Billions of $$ of investment in physical cables spanning every street in every country. In nearly every instance, the initial investment in this infrastructure was for a completely different technology (telephone or TV) from a time way before internet. The industry is now at a point where demand for bandwidth is simply outpacing technological innovation and these networks can't take the strain.
Think about the work involved in doubling Broadband speeds over say 2-3 years, in line with demand. In the past this involved installing some new equipment in the central office or exchange. Then this wasn't enough so the equipment had to be installed in the street, costly, especially as the number required was so much higher. Now we're at the point where the copper Coax or phone-line can't physically do the job anymore and it needs replacing, ideally with Fibre. Imagine the work and cost involved in doing this task. It's a hugely labour intensive task to dig up every street and there are many layers of red-tape and bureaucracy that simply weren't there during the initial build out. Once you've done that, you then need to buy vast amounts of brand new equipment and back-office software to run these new systems, plus hire in a load of new talent.
Now imagine doing this for every single home in the US or Europe (not just Kansas). Now imagine doing this without increasing your prices. Now imagine doing this whilst some key revenue streams are also being taken away from you.
Then think about the payback period on this investment... how long will all that Fibre even be used before wireless speeds increase and half your customer base decide they don't even want a fixed line anymore because they can get 1Gbps on their mobile? That 4K Video stream is still only 30mbps! 10 years perhaps?
I'm not surprised the ISPs are fighting back, they're putting in all the money and taking all of the risk for little to no reward.
Now... to speak my own mind. The sooner the old guard realise their time is up and adapt to fit the new demand the better, for customers and for the ISPs. Cable companies in particular have a very difficult time coming to terms with the fact that they're now just a data pipe. People don't want to buy their TV or their programming. People want internet and on the internet you can get everything, including TV and Movies. ISPs need to start investing in their networks even if it means we have to pay a bit more, because it won't come cheap, and stop pretending they're still relevant. But throttling the guy selling the better widget is just petty and benefits no-one.