Comment by AlexMax | Hacker News Reader

Comment by AlexMax | Hacker News Reader

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> Having grown up as a gay teenager in the 90s, I don't really remember having had my bones broken by any jokes people made about me. I did get my ass kicked pretty good a few times, but in those cases, it wasn't words doing the damage.

Do you not think that words contributed to the atmosphere of oppression that made it easier for others to stand by and do nothing or think you deserved it somehow? Or that it doesn't have the effect of tearing someone down mentally? If someone is hurt by the things someone says, is it the victim's fault for letting it get to them?

Why can't people just be nice to each other? Why can't we just start from that? Why can't we as a society frown on that sort of bullying behavior instead of insisting that it's the victims who should take two "life experience" pills and get over it?

You seem to be missing my point entirely. Of course hearing nasty jokes about me hurt! How could it be otherwise? But if the problem is that I'm being beaten for the same reason that people are making nasty jokes about me, I don't see how spending effort on stopping people making the jokes does more to solve the problem than would spending the same effort on stopping people doing the beating.

> Why can't people just be nice to each other?

Because human nature frequently requires otherwise.

> Why can't we just start from that?

Because it doesn't work; see above for why.

> Why can't we as a society frown on that sort of bullying behavior instead of insisting that it's the victims who should take two "life experience" pills and get over it?

I'm arguing that it's precisely that behavior on which the utopians should focus, instead of generating a lot of hot air on the subject of harsh language.

And it's pretty rich, I think, for you to be suggesting to me that I'm blaming the victim. I've been that victim, thank you very much, and it is in precisely that experience that my arguments on this subject find their motivation.

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