Was that intended as a warning for the rest of your post?
>It's ridiculous to expect someone to put up with harassment and vitriol
Of course it is. And since that does not happen any more frequently in tech than anywhere else, and does not happen any more frequently to women than to men, I have a hard time seeing the relevance.
>You may not even realize it, but your comment actually excuses all of the sexism and misogyny in the industry
You may not even realize it, but your comment actually makes women less likely to participate in tech. When people constantly make a huge fuss about imaginary misogyny, women start feeling like they are blamed by all the normal people, even though they had nothing to do with it and are actually normal people themselves.