Social Media: Why it pays to be super awesome to almost everyone online

Although I agree with the conclusion, I disagree with the premise.

Being "super awesome" to people "pays", not just on the internet, but in everyday life. Yes, this applies to high school too.

> "A part of being awesome is being honest. If you don’t like something, you can say so, just don’t be rude about it."

mos def. i wish more developers, in particular, took the attitude that we're all learning and improving. at best we can each enable and help one another; at minimum we can respect different perspectives.

i find so many tech talks, especially from the insecure startup crowd, are initially aggressive and secretive. it makes me uncomfortable, even as i struggle with my own insecurities and attempts to be gentler and less defensive or snobby.

after a little more time talking with someone we almost always find common ground and lose our egos in the excitement of the actual content and information exchange. that's good. it's hard to get that personableness on the internet, tho. be honest, but not rude +1

> "This is being a part of a community, bringing something to the table and sharing it without expecting anything in return."

this is also a good one. i think it's ok to expect community in return, and to try to engage (nicely) with others who want to be secretive.

the main point, though, is to see oneself in an ecosystem that benefits from exchanging knowledge and goods. far too many developers are afraid that their project will get swiped if they share their code. it is more likely that everyone else is already too busy. i would also like to think that by being open, others are more likely to collaborate with you, or bounce ideas off you, or learn from your code.

distrust results from fear, and most fears are irrational. the result of the desire for secrets and power is serious harm. there are many shining examples of open developers, companies and communities, so i know this can work in certain situations.

the thought that one defector can ruin it for everyone--other than some risks being worth taking purely to stand on principle and strive for goodness against the dark--i'm not sure how to handle. perhaps there is a middle ground. i don't have enough data to be rational here ;-)

"That stuff on the internet? Yeah, it stays around forever."

This is a wide spread myth. I'm on the web since 1997 (I know, I was late). Back then I started with publishing poems online. Most of them are sadly lost and gone forever. I relied on the Web to keep them and was quite sure that by posting them on mailing lists, forums and publishing on websites they will make me a famous poet one day (no, I hoped at least that they will stay available).

Searching today for some of the most ofen published ones yields zero results.

So back up your stuff and don't believe the stays forever thing. I never shun away from an argument online and I'm quite successful on the Web. Of course I do some ORM (Online Reputation management) myself but on the whole I don't have to hide much about me.

There was not even close to enough content here to justify the shameless plug for the book. I agree it pays to be awesome to people, but come on... give us more than 3 paragraphs if you're going to try to get us to buy something. Sheesh.

Summary: buy a book. Flagged...