> I literally cannot tell whether you're still being funny or serious. Poe's law is in full effect. (It's still pretty funny to me either way.)
I am dead serious.
> Haskell tries to be a language where all code only does this: Take input, produce output from it; whenever input is the same, output needs to be the same, nothing else may happen, no exceptions whatsoever. Since this forbids things like printing to the screen, reading from a network connections and other useful things, there needed to be a single construct that is excempt from these rules, so Haskell can be useful. Monads are these constructs.
Stop conflating monads with IO. Monads just happen to be usable for modeling IO, but they can model other things as well.
> Monads are the house rules you bring to your Monopoly game to make it fun.
Ironically, when I program in Haskell, I try to keep as much stuff outside of IO as possible. The reason is precisely that IO is usually not fun.
> (Yes, that means Haskell is not a fully functional language, it's just more functional than most.)
No, it just means that IO is a DSL for constructing imperative programs functionally.
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Anyway, I have no desire for being trolled, so this discussion ends here.