> Because that is what they believe to be the best way to hurt my feelings
TLDR: These people probably aren't trying to hurt your feelings, their language -- while shocking to you -- is a product of a different culture.
I think this is a cultural difference between you and them. You must realize that much of HN -- I'm assuming this includes you -- lives in a bubble of left-leaning people from left-leaning urban areas.
Growing up in a different time and place, in middle and high school I always thought calling someone "faggot" or "gay" was roughly the same as "idiot", "jerk" or "asshole" -- a generic insult not meant to be taken literally. And in the context of a multiplayer game, especially online, such a word is typically used to express momentary anger at the in-game situation, not trying to attack you personally.
It was quite a culture shock to me when I got to college and discovered that most people on campus viewed insulting someone by calling them a "faggot" to be political incorrectness of the same order as calling someone a "nigger" or "retard".