A guy who tells a girl he's going to do some sexual act to her over an XBox Live chat isn't doing it to rattle his opponent. He's doing it to drive her away.
> Because that is what they believe to be the best way to hurt my feelings
TLDR: These people probably aren't trying to hurt your feelings, their language -- while shocking to you -- is a product of a different culture.
I think this is a cultural difference between you and them. You must realize that much of HN -- I'm assuming this includes you -- lives in a bubble of left-leaning people from left-leaning urban areas.
Growing up in a different time and place, in middle and high school I always thought calling someone "faggot" or "gay" was roughly the same as "idiot", "jerk" or "asshole" -- a generic insult not meant to be taken literally. And in the context of a multiplayer game, especially online, such a word is typically used to express momentary anger at the in-game situation, not trying to attack you personally.
It was quite a culture shock to me when I got to college and discovered that most people on campus viewed insulting someone by calling them a "faggot" to be political incorrectness of the same order as calling someone a "nigger" or "retard".
Ignore it, tell them to fuck off, and move on. It's a fairly simple concept really. You are WEAK if some randoms comments in an online video game get you this rattled.
I actually recognized your name from the other thread on the front page right now about a woman being harassed due to her having a rare skin disorder.[0] In it, you post a comment[1] clearly contradicting your opinions here, including such things as:
> I truly believe after spending so much time on Reddit I became a worse person [...] It's taken me quite awhile to get back to being a normal, nice, human being
What caused you to do such a 180?