Ask HN: Am I sane? Is it a phase of a programmer's life? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Am I sane? Is it a phase of a programmer's life?

10 pointsnjsubedi9 comments

I have been isolated after moving to another city, where I have a room to live and a hackerspace, with a couple of furniture, internet and a coffee machine. I spend my entire day at the hackerspace and night at my room. No friends, no family and no people to talk to on regular basis.

I am working on a couple android application projects for "www.terminal.com" as a freelancer, and one personal side project in PHP. I spend several hours in front of my laptop all day, and few hours when I get back to my room at night. Recently I have found myself something has changed inside me. I feel like I am a completely different person. It is hard to stay focused on anything and to maintain meaningful conversation with people. I sometimes talk to myself, and sometimes go out to talk to random people (to feel normal, as I think it of).

I don't take much caffiene. One cup of coffee in the morning is all. I drink enough water but there's no fixed time for lunch. Once or twice a week I see one of my friends, hangout for an hour or so, and return back to my reality. It feels like I am just playing a role of mine in front of people.

Is it normal to feel abnormal after spending several weeks in solitary? What can I do to make sure I stay productive?

I would love to hear from you after you have read this far. Do you have any experience of programming in almost complete solitary state?

Is it normal to feel abnormal after spending several weeks in solitary?

Yes.

There's a very good documentary, A Map for Saturday, abut a guy who decides to travel around the world (more or less) with only what he can carry on his back. (And some camera stuff). I think he wanders for a year.

He knows no one in the places he goes, and often does not know the local language. He talks abut the odd sensation of going days without having a simple conversation with anyone and how thankful he feels when he gets the chance to just sit down and chat with other people (other similar travelers, I believe). It's a terrific film overall.

I do not think of myself as a particularly social person, but I get antsy if I spend a lot of time without talking to another friendly human. Luckily I work from home and my wife is almost always around so I can go pester her. Other times I just start making a lot of phone calls to family and friends.

I think it's important to get out of your own head on a regular basis.

ref: http://www.amapforsaturday.com

_please_ learn from my mistake. I spent a solid 4+ years working by myself (some remote help once in awhile) on a startup for a manipulative sociopath who kept telling me "cash flow issues" (so couldn't really hire another person quite yet). I can see my mistakes now, so it's not entirely all their responsibility, but I should have stopped working period - these fools thought one could run a enterprise B2B company like a corner store. But anyone in the IT world knows that can't be done a lot of the time - commitment to the profession, etc.

anyway, before I start whining. don't let your behavior become a habit - it is so very easy to do. I managed to meet up with people once in a great while, so I sort of stayed sane, but spending 10 hrs a day by yourself for very long periods of time ... there was always something to fix and so very easy to get focused and lost in the world. Programming probably involves the dopamine system in your brain - solving puzzles all the time, you get a rush for it, and so it's reinforcing.

You sound better than me in that you are realizing this earlier than I did. You have to be far more proactive though - make it a conscious habit to only work a set amount of time and force yourself to interact with strangers. I think I had a nervous breakdown of sorts and finally quit - it's been a year and I'm still shattered and my life is not fully repairable to some extent now because of where I am at in my life now. I really fucked up. Please don't do the same!

Different people have different needs in terms of how much human interaction they need. Ask yourself, before your move, were you around a lot of people most of the time and did you enjoy it?

I would say maybe join some meetup social groups, there are a lot of happy-hour type groups. It doesn't require much time investment but it can keep you in regular contact with people.

Also aren't there people in this so called hackerspace to interact with?

Bottom line, total isolation from people for long periods of time generally isn't good.

> What can I do to make sure I stay productive?

This is a horrible question, especially based upon your description. I'm sorry that society has convinced you that productivity is the most important metric to evaluate.

It sounds like productivity is the root of your problem. You need to instead evaluate your humanism.

I would recommend going on a long hike (AT, PCT?), find an inclusive group of peers (punks, burners?) and experience life instead of this comfy treadmill you've constructed.

If you've got a good car, give rides to people on uber or lyft.

I was in a similar situation as you, isolated from everyone. You need to get out and socialize. Try Rejection Therapy. It's a serendipity generator. It will get you out of your comfort zone.

Also consider the possibility you are entering a midlife crisis. Don't laugh. It can really mess with your head.

I just googled Rejection Therapy. I don't think I need it but sounds kind of fun. How long did you do it for? Did you buy the cards?

I created the game out of necessity. As mentioned earlier, I had isolated myself for almost a year, working obsessively on my new business. It became fertile ground for social anxiety. Rejection Therapy was a personal challenge to overcome my hyper-sensitivity and meet new people.

If you need/want the cards, email me. I'll send them to you free.

    A man who finds himself among others is irritated because  
    he does not know why he is not one of the others.

Read books. But most of all, read.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com