I don't know that I would agree with you that morality is relative, but I strongly agree with your larger point that you shouldn't let other people build your moral code for you. I also would never[1] work for the NSA or a defense contractor.

[1] By "never," I mean that I cannot imagine a realistic scenario in which I would accept such a job. I can imagine an unrealistic scenario in which the head of the NSA has kidnapped my child and is holding New York hostage with a ticking time bomb in which I would accept such a job gladly.