HN answers "How did your life change after FU money?"
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I was just discussing this with my friend yesterday. I'm scared of having all of my debt paid off and have some extra left over. I don't think I'm mature enough to handle that lifestyle. Yet.
Right now I have a simple, easy reason to motivate myself to work (and thus learn new tech and maintain my edge) - paying the bills. But if I have no debt, I could maintain my current standard of living (which is pretty high) AND save a lot by just working one day a week. My wife wouldn't even have to work!
What are we supposed to do with all that free time and money? The correct answer is of course doing whatever we want (invent, travel, charity, art, teach etc.). But none of our friends or family have that lifestyle. We'd be the "rich" people who live in luxury and don't have to work. It is similar to winning a lottery and all the problems that come with it.
We are already at a point that PG mentioned where most of the problems that could be solved with money, are being solved with money. We have a pet-sitter to take care of our home zoo. We have cleaning service, laundry-pickup, handyman, lawn guy, property manager etc. It may seem lavish but if I spent the same time doing the same chores, we'd lose a lot more money since I bill by the hour. And if we were debt free, we could afford all of that with me working just 1 day a week.
I have invested in startups and virtual currency. There is a greater than zero chance that something can work in my favor and I end up being debt free and have more than enough to spend a decade or longer without working (barring medical, legal issues etc). As much as I want to hit the tech lottery, I'm not sure I have the self-discipline to maintain a healthy level of productivity, socialization, and carefreeness once I no longer have to work to pay the bills.
However, that doesn't mean I want to do this forever. I think I need about a decade to grow into the idea of that lifestyle. Then not only can we live comfortably easily, our social circle will include other people who will want to go on National Geographic cruises or trips to Antarctic. Right now, our family/friends are working 9-5 or going to school. Having FU money today just makes for a very lonely social lifestyle in our location.
The answer could well be "keep working, just do less of it or avoid the stuff I don't like doing".
It also helps to keep something in mind that you're working towards, beyond finance. For the past two years, my primary goal has been financial: earn enough recurring revenue that I can work on what I want.
But it's obvious that that goal will eventually render itself obsolete if I succeed at it. So I know I need something beyond that.
I have a few ideas of skills I'd like to learn. Latin is something I was working on before starting, I want to read roman authors in the original. If ever I no longer need to work, I know I can do that. And travel, and learning to draw. All things that I've done in the past, and enjoyed, but put aside to focus on my primary goal.
I've heard you should always be looking for a new job. Likewise, I think you should always be looking for what to do when you don't need a job.
So I started working on an app for people with ALS and things were great for the next two years of development. Then I sold the app and now I'm back to having the same free-time = guilt problem. Next year I'm starting another project with a friend to help kids with psych issues. I know all of this sounds great but the stress of continuing to be productive 24/7 takes away from the leisure that starts at 4pm Fridays for people with 9-5 jobs. There is no period of downtime for me on weeknights or weekends or holidays. When you have a 9-5, you can do whatever you want outside of it and nobody bats an eye. When you can do anything you want all day, you being to wonder if you're using your time in the best possible way or not.
Again, not saying I wouldn't mind being debt free immediately. Just confirming PGs statement about finally writing the book. When you have no excuses, how do you explain stagnation or failure?
Do you think it's more the differential, rather than the amount that causes issues?
The basic advice I have to anyone who suddenly comes into money is to be quiet about it. It can create all sorts of social barriers and awkward situations, especially if you hang out with people who work in fields where getting rich is not an option (i.e. teachers).
For me, 10k started looking like pocket change. I knew it wasn't right so I made a point not to spend any money for the first 6 months. Of course I couldn't resist the nice car, but that's all I spent really.
I also made the mistake of just keeping the money in my checking account to avoid screwing up. That was at the bottom of the 2008/2009 crisis so that money could have been worth a lot more today.
But don't you feel, I don't know, dishonest, limited, when you can't share your happiness, thoughts, etc. with your friends?
There are many reasons to keep mum about:
1) You will suddenly have a lot more family/friends who want a piece of it - This is the reason everyone gives and it is true depending on your social circle. This includes everyone who wants you to invest in their business, give them a loan, pay for their meals etc. However it is not the only reason.
2) People will assume you no longer have any problems in life. Your depression? Family problems? Social anxiety? Alcoholism? Fewer people will empathize with you and most will attribute your problems to "the money went into your head!" syndrome.
3) You will have a harder time getting people to spend their own money with you - This is definitely something my wife and I have experienced multiple times with different groups of friends. Five years ago, we could easily encourage our friends to spend $50 to go to a theme park with us or take a small vacation. Now, we look inconsiderate when we ask anyone to do that because it is so cheap for us but a significant amount of cash for them. Recently, I went on a bachelor's party trip with a few friends. I paid $10 to park my car for the day in front of our destination and the people in the other car parked 2 miles away because it was $3 to park there. They thought I was a complete jerk when I called them to say "Oh just park here, it's only $7 more." For me, it was a rounding amount in my hourly invoices. For them, it was an entire hours worth of work hauling pallets in Walmart's freezer section at 3am. This was just a minor incident but there will be many more if everyone knows you have $X m in the bank.
You are definitely limited (in regards to talking about it), but it has to be that way. You'll find that in your group of good friends, there are a few that won't be affected by you having money, but for the vast majority it's a problem.