Ask HN: How would you become more determined? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How would you become more determined?

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If you wanted to become strong-willed how would you do it?

Is it possible? Are there determination exercises you could do? Would you actually do them if there were any? How/what would you measure to see if it was working?

Thank you for any thoughts/stories people have to share.

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There are, but they take a long time.

Basically, you need to take on challenges that are just beyond your comfort zone and see them through to completion, no matter what. No matter how much your brain is telling you that they're pointless, or that there's another shiny project you could be working on, or that you don't really want to do them after all. The point of learning comes when you push through that feeling and resign yourself to doing it anyway, and then you do it anyway and see what happens.

You know it's working when you finish that project that you felt was impossible.

The interesting thing is that determination seems to be intimately connected with self-confidence, emotional stability, and judgment. I've found that very often (particularly early on), the projects I finished this way weren't worth working on, and there were shinier projects I could've been involved in. But with each success, I became more confident in my ability to take on greater challenges, less neurotic about how I might be wasting my life, and a better judge of what projects were actually worth my time. A lot of recent college grads believe they're going to hit on the "perfect" startup idea and strike it rich, but the fact is that most people are terrible at judging startup ideas until they have taken a few to the bitter end and seen what happened, and picking that perfect startup idea is a learned skill that comes from taking a bunch of ideas that seemed perfect at first but really weren't to completion.

Are there any particular challenges, projects or exercises that worked better for you than others? What types of challenges work better than others? Would flossing every night be enough to make you more determined?

The type of challenges you want are the ones that your brain shies away from - the ones that cause you intense anxiety, like you'll feel the world will end if you keep doing them and you'll be left totally exposed. (Obviously, assuming that there's no rational reason for the world to actually end.)

So for me - the first major challenge was rewriting the database & website for FictionAlley.org in college. The reason it was challenging was that up until then I'd flaked on every project that I couldn't see the end of. I was great at stuff that could be accomplished in a few hours, but when it came to stuff that took sustained effort over months, I'd start to panic that maybe it wasn't worth the effort after all and what if it failed?

My second major project was Write Yourself a Scheme in 48 Hours, where there was this voice running through my head saying "Who are you to think that you can teach Haskell to the web? You barely know it yourself." It was a fear of being judged publicly.

The third was redesigning the Google Search Results Page in 2010. And that was scary for similar reasons - every whole-page redesign up until then had failed, and we were putting ourselves out there in front of literally millions of users. Luckily I had lots of support from my coworkers and senior management, and it wasn't me leading the project.

The fourth was Gumbo, which was scary because it was ambitious (a full implementation of the HTML5 parsing algorithm), and I was solely responsible for it with nobody backing me up. I'd identified a problem, no organization was supporting me, and I'd embarked on a multi-year 20% project to deliver it.

It's not just technical stuff either; you can become more determined by exercising the parts of yourself that you'd assumed are no good. For example, many geeks are absolutely terrified about talking to women. Or to strangers in general. The 2 years I spent dating, which eventually led to finding my girlfriend, were as educational and character-building as any software project I did.

Flossing every night will probably not cut it unless you have a phobia about flossing.

- Nostrademons, I really like your reply. It gives me wisdom and hope.

I'm in my 40's now, and I am a lot more determined than I was in my teens and 20's. One thing that has had a lasting impact on me was spending time with people less well-off than me. I didn't seek these experiences out; I just noticed that people around me had less resources than I do, sometimes starkly so.

I think of these people when I am deciding whether to get something done, or read another reddit thread. There is a myth in the US that people who are less well off must be lazy. In fact, the people who have it the hardest tend to work the hardest. Having spent time around those people, I feel self-conscious even in my own home when I'm not working hard.

That, and find the work that makes you satisfied. Happiness is important, but long-term satisfaction is much more deeply fulfilling. If you enjoy your work, and you find it important, motivation will probably be easier to come by.

Give it an appropriate prioritization in your life. e.g. "This is more important than X". And have in your mind the REASON why it is more important than X. The secret, that I have read, to success at difficult things is knowing your "why" - Why is this thing more important than X? What does success look like, and how does that compare to X?

Your "why" is what makes you get out of bed in the morning, makes you confront that issue you can't resolve, and to resolve it. If your "why" isn't strong enough, you will likely fail.

I read a quote a very long time ago that simply said "Imagine if man learned how to use all of that energy, that determination, all his resources that he uses for chasing women ... for something else more important?"

Thank you, knowing why something is more important than something else is a good point.

>How would you become more determined?

Well, that's easy. Apply recursion: you just become determined to become determined!

(point being you don't need anything to get motivated (the definition of motivation should help, unless you were looking for a different term (efficiency?)))

Will is just a matter of practice and focus. Like a muscle, it can become stronger. Unlike a muscle, you can lose it fast.

"motivation" videos (e.g. inspiresauce.com) may give you a temporary rush, but unless you act on it, you're just eluding your work further.

That's my two cents.

Habits > forced tasks. Cultivate good habits wherever possible.

As for building up will power, I've found that distance running is an excellent way to hone your determination. Distance running is essentially the act of pushing yourself when you want to quit.

There are plenty of books on the subject if you'd like to study up on it more. Thinking Fast and Slow, Drive, Switch are all good books on the subject that immediately come to mind.

I try to make it a habit; once you force yourself to do something for a number of days in a row you don't need to be strong-willed to do it.

I've had some friends swear by cold showers for this. Personally, I'm not determined enough!

I think being to strong willed is a bad thing. It's called stuborn.

Not necessarily. Strong-willed implies that you won't compromise on the goals; stubborn implies you won't compromise on the means. If you surround yourself with others whose goals line up with you, being strong-willed can be a very good thing.

The most effective way is to fail and taste defeat.

- I've always respected The Counte of Monte Cristo and looked up to him as my motivation/role model. To become strong-willed, I use other people's negativity to fuel me. To me making it or being determined is an act of revenge on those who have tried to put me down in the past.

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