"TL;DR: DigitalOcean is a good VPS provider with minor issues. I like them and have been using them for over a year." -- Thus a dishonest title.
Other suggestions:
"Why John Kennedy would have loved Digital Ocean" "What Digital Ocean and the weather have in common".
Sorry I hate to joke and I don't want HN to end up just being people joking. But I had to point out that the title that gets attention is the title that gets your attention.