Comment by thasmin | Hacker News Reader

Comment by thasmin | Hacker News Reader

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I think it can be easily argues that all marriages are made with imperfect information. Not only do people not know their spouse, but they also don't know themselves. Then consider how people change over their lifetime and I wonder how the divorce rate is so low.

When you get married, you aren't signing up to be a caretaker to a mentally unstable spouse. If your spouse is harming your children, it's your responsibility to get your children out of that situation however possible. There are thousands of legitimate situations that you'd agree are worthy of divorce.

There's a lot not said in this article. It's completely possible that he and his wife weren't well suited for each other to begin with. Roseanne was on the air for nine seasons. That's a lot of time to build resentment and hatred, if that's what was happening. Maybe the two years where he stayed at home let them figure out just how much they didn't care for each other. There are lots of legit possibilities.

It's not as simple as not living up to your commitment.

My experience of having gone through a relationship with an abusive cheater and subsequent two-years research on the topic reading confessions and engaging with fellow men indicates that these words are written from a contemporary female perspective.

Out of failed relationships, a typical westernised woman involved tends to take a marriage like something that can be ditched at any point if anything at all goes wrong; men, on the contrary, tend to stick by their wives. Statistics tell that the majority of divorces in westernised society nowadays are initiated by women. [1]

The legal landscape at least here, in UK, means that after a relationship fails and a divorce in practical terms its predominately men who are left with the financial burden of the split.

[1] http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/divorces-in-england-and-...

Such BS. How many men leave their wives for younger women? All the famous ones do. Sergey Brin, Rupert Murdoch, etc

You just attempted to refute data from the UK government including >100,000 samples per year showing women overwhelmingly petitioning for divorce more often than men by providing 2 anecdotes which are entirely consistent with that data. (Men do file for divorces. Women still file for divorces more often.)

Try again.

It's not as simple as not living up to your commitment.

Yeah, mostly it really is. I'd make an exception if there is abuse or cheating going on, but yes when you get married you are signing up to be a caretaker to a sick, unstable, dying, unemployed, depressed, failing, whatever spouse. That's the deal. If you aren't prepared for that, don't get married.

That's incredibly idealistic. As thasmin says, people don't know themselves when they're getting married. I think you read it as a justification (rather than an explanation - which I believe is what the thasmin meant) of why people leave.

If you aren't prepared for that, don't get married.

Have you been married to a mentally ill person? Probably not. Why so quick to judge? (And why the arbitrary exception for abuse or cheating?)

How many people think about the possibility that their partner may become physically or mentally ill when they get married? Most people assume their life will be great and don't really think about how they would handle really bad situations later on.

>>When you get married, you aren't signing up to be a caretaker to a mentally unstable spouse.

If not to help each other, what else is the purpose of a marriage?

If you are healthy, and have money these days you don't need anyone. You can buy anything you want, live the way you like, and find all the companionship you need in the world. Money solves nearly all problems in the world these days, the ones it doesn't are generally the ones that you can't solve without money either.

Its only during the times of crisis you need people to stand beside you.

We might as well completely do away with the whole concept of marriage.

> Money solves nearly all problems in the world these days

Looks like somebody's not rich.

Why do you need to be married to have people stand beside you in times of crisis? Such people should care about you unconditionally, not because they are contractually bound to you.

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