Why not consider donating a portion to a charity? If anything it may absolve yourself of some responsibility regarding your cynical outlook? Be the change you seek :)
Fundamentally, as you can see from other comments, you don't seem to have an obvious reason for depression just from what you wrote, in fact you look like you have a pretty good situation. Yet you feel like you do, so there's likely something else going on.
You should make contact with a counselor or similar, and do some exploration as to what might be bothering you. Many times we don't know what's bothering us, we just feel bad. The result of counseling could be identification of some issue and how to address it, and additionally some idea of things you can do to make yourself feel good, independent of any issues.
Mental health is not just fixing what's broke. Promoting what's good is just as important.
You sound mentally unhealthy. You wouldn't hesitate to set a broken arm and put it in a cast. Go talk to a professional or two, and get yourself healthy.
EDIT: This should have been a reply to the OP. Weird that I put it here. Recalibrating brain ...
When you have a million, you make passive income of 60-70k per year. When you have 100 million, you make passive income of 7 million per year (but probably much more), which gives you almost 600k per month. You can do anything and you really don't care about saving money at this point, so you can spend all of it. As opposed to 5k per month, and you are living off 3k per month, trying desperately to save money to re-invest every year.
Donating my money would just make me panic more. The problem is that I have nothing except money. I need to start on something, but I don't know what.
A million dollars in savings isn't rich, good lord.. that's rich!
http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sales/manhattan/
Why should they get to have more fun than me? Fuck them.
How do we mark threads as trolling, again?
100 million isn't rich, 10 billion is.
Look, there's always going to be someone richer. Only one person in 7 billion gets to be the richest person on the planet. Stop staring at the top, and consider the over 99% of the world's population that's a lot poorer than you.
You are easily in the richest 1%. You are rich. You've made it. If this doesn't make you happy, then maybe you should change your outlook in life and do something totally different.
Have a long vacation, travel around the world. Maybe go see all those places and people that have it a lot worse than you. Go build houses in Africa. Find some people worse off than you and make a difference in their lives. Quite likely that will make you feel a lot better.
100 million is what I want. I feel like then, I could live how I wanted. I want to help people. I want to make the world a better place. I have no evil desires. If someone came up to me right now and said hey buddy, I'll give you 100 million if you help me starve just 1 dying boy in africa right now, I would punch that cock in the face. I do not want to make money at the expense of other people.
I want to help people. I want to improve the world. I believe in evolution. I believe in our planet.
I don't know what else there is to say. Except for- I will make it my business to murder people who oppress other people. I really will.
And who wouldn't? In fact, anyone who's not a millionaire would be happy with a million. If being that rich doesn't make you happy, why would being even richer work? Maybe you should focus on something more fulfilling than money.
> If someone came up to me right now and said hey buddy, I'll give you 100 million if you help me starve just 1 dying boy in africa right now, I would punch that cock in the face. I do not want to make money at the expense of other people.
And are you sure you haven't made your money at the expense of other people? I'd hate to depress you even further, but it's very hard not to make money at the expense of others. Particularly at the expense of the poorest people in Africa or Asia. Many of the cheap goods we buy are made by people who are terribly exploited for just cents per day. US and EU agriculture gets subsidies that make it impossible for African farmers to compete, and our surpluses get dumped below cost, driving them out of business, causing famine.
If you're serious about not wanting to be rich at the expense of the poor, and don't want to be the cause of kids in Africa starving, then focus on that. You've got enough money to visit Africa and Asia, to see how people live there, and do something about it. Raise awareness, build a school, campaign, whatever. There's tons to be done.
And you don't even have to eat up your million buck for it. Your 60k of passive income is more than enough to do something. After you've spent a few months or a year or a few years on this, you'll still be rich, and you can still decide that helping the poor isn't your thing and do something else with your money instead.
Just stop focusing on that 100 million, because almost nobody gets there, and focusing on that above all else will only destroy you at no benefit to anyone anywhere.
Sounds like you want the luxury of going into a store and buying whatever you want - that might not happen. The reason it's bothering you is psychological, not financial. Would you rather be Steve Jobs? rich ... but he can't buy anything now.
You sound young, based on 4 years in college and 8 years working, so as an introvert keep that in mind, and realize that your mind is playing tricks on you, and making things seem bad even though you are doing great or at least good. It's hard to self-inspect, but as an introvert you should be able to question your thoughts. Question them in a quite room, because you may just start to laugh.
My suggestion - don't waste your 30's, 40's and 50's chasing big score. Prioritize - get family, that's a lot harder later in life (I would assume chasing a toddler at 45 is different than at 30, and maybe biological impossible at 50). You can keep doing things on the side, so look for a supportive spouse.
Try investing part of that money not in savings, but in psychotherapy; improving on all that anxiety will make you much happier and you'll have an easier time making decisions about your financial goals after that.
I have volunteered at homeless shelters. I have played golf at a professional level, I have an engineering degree, I have given speeches to high school classes about life, I have built a blog and website (not good @ coding though).
I have traveled and enjoyed some of the finest food in the American nation. I have owned some of the finest sports cars and lived and some of the nicest places (douche). I have caught world record fish in the gulf of mexico. I have shot a 59 on a golf course (18 holes). I have raided with a top 6 worldwide guild on wow. I have made it to the top 18 in quake live duel rankings. Wow I am fucking loser. I haven't done shit with my life. Fuck me. I should kill myself. lol.