Seethe and Grin: My Life Going to Tech Events
medium.com
medium.com
This only gets worse with the addition of alcohol, which is always plentiful.
What tech conference are you going to where they serve alcohol at the actual conference?!?!? Hell, I've been to no fewer than 30 conferences in the US over the past 15 years and not one has served alcohol. They serve alcohol at the pre-conference networking events, and they serve alcohol at the get-togethers. So don't go to those things. Problem solved.
The reward for winning the conversation seems uncertain except that everyone thinks you’re an asshole but can at least admit you are not ignorant about whatever obscure aspect of computing is on the table at the moment.
That's just absolutely absurd. There is no "winning" and for her to think there is just implies a lack of understanding of "the point" of tech conferences. The point is "to learn stuff" and, for some, "to network". Those are the two and only reasons to go as an attendee. If you are a speaker, the only reason to go could be summed as "To raise my consulting rates" or "To get more customers". If it's the latter, then the situation explained describes every single conversation in which a guy/gal wants to be "The Man" in front of the consultant.
On the way out, they’ll turn to me and ask for a t-shirt.
Bull$#%(. That's just not happening. Zero chance of actual occurrence in real life.
“I am just blown away that someone that looks like you knows so much about these things.”
Holy jeez, you've won the genes lottery and you're complaining that people are complementing you? Wow. Ridiculously small minded things.