I don't care for the "it's optional" argument in general -- it's fair for users of an optional service to voice their opinion on how it could be better for them. As a developer that's something I want users to do. And I've learned to filter out tone when their tone could use a little work (or a lot, in OP's case.)

But in any case, you've failed to rebut the "it's optional" argument. None of your examples are related to OP's complaint about using the activity feed to keep up with friends.