By this point it should be clear, don't post anything on Facebook that you don't want to be public. It's not that complicated.
Some of us choose to keep the photos where we look sunburned and drunk tagged. Some of us untag everything that's not pristine. What's nice about Facebook is they make it easy to play it either way.
However, if memory serves, Facebook does not link back to your account if friends tag you in their photos, and you have tagged photos marked as private.
I may misunderstand your problem, but I fail to see where Facebook is leaking any information.