Bit off topic, but I actually just disabled all my social media, and you know what? I don't miss a single soul and I feel really good again, more energetic and enthusiastic even. I just realized I really only do have about 5 people I should keep in contact with. Everyone else was a relationship that was kept up just from virtue of existing, relationships that would never make it into real life.

I feel free.

For the first time I took a walk in the park yesterday, rolled a joint, went for a nice breakfast and coffee at a local diner, read the newspaper, and just sat in the park. It was amazing not feeling pressure to make everyone immediately aware of how fucking awesome of a morning I've had. It was actually unreal. I just sat there looking at a bird and I almost just broke down and cried of happiness.

I felt zero pressure doing anything.

It felt as though I was obligated to post everything cool I did, so when doing those things, I'd do them differently just to fit the specific paradigm that I post in just to one up others.

A feeling has left me that I hadn't identified before that I mistook as depression. I was growing more apathetic, sad, and cynical due to social media because it felt like every little thing I did was in competition in some form or another to others online, and when I failed, I just felt more isolated and lonely.

I'm able to do things consistently without the need to constantly check my phone and compare that specific frame of my life against others. Facebook on the toilet, while cleaning, running, on the bus, at work, on the commute home, too much.

The weeks following deleting my social media I got so much shit done so fast with no distractions. Absolutely amazing. I think I'll write a blog post about this. I bought a tablet, loaded my favourite books on it, and have filled in all my pointless social media time with reading.

I'm actually discovering the city alone for the first time ever and it's wonderful because I don't care what anyone else thinks of what I'm doing, I'm doing it for me.

I'm going to grow my beard, cut my hair, buying some jeans, buying some chucks, and then I'm going to relax in a field somewhere and just spend time not caring.