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I'd love to learn something like this but my problem is that I'm scared I'll disable myself from being able to use a regular QWERTY keyboard without looking like an idiot.

Changing keyboard layout of library or university computers or basically any other computer than your own comes with a lot of trouble.

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I've been using Colemak for a couple years now - but instead of learning it with my laptop's keyboard, I learnt it with a new Kinesis Advantage Pro. I now find that if I'm using a standard keyboard, I can type qwerty without much more difficulty before, but if I'm using the Kinesis, I have no trouble touch typing Colemak. My guess is that the massive difference in the actual keyboards stops my brain from getting confused.

Colemak user here.

Yes it will slow you down when using QWERTY but if you are using both daily it is barely noticeable.

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