You know what they stopped answering my ticket after first response. If it wasn't HN post gaining this much traction i'm pretty sure that they won't respond to me.
Had you chosen a VPS like amazon, you probably wouldn't even get notified. The first time you'd notice a problem is when you get your $1000 bandwidth bill from amazon.
You're like the customer that shows up at a restaurant and complains publicly about the food and demands a refund. When you make it a public issue, the company will move mountains to help you, but you're still an asshole for doing it.
If DigitalOcean's support wasn't clear about their reasons for suspending the account, or if you feel that you weren't getting a helpful response from them, then post the communications you had with them to prove it.
Your explanation of the events only mentions a single occurrence, at which time your account was locked in addition to the server being shutdown.
In either case, a server engaging in malicious activity, is normally taken offline as soon as the malicious activity is discovered to prevent further damage from occurring. You'd get a similar response from just about any other hosting provider you care to name. If you're lucky, and they're feeling generous, they might work with you to find the problem prior to taking the system offline, but normally standard procedure is to take the system offline immediately. The fact that you seem surprised about this shows you don't have much experience administering your own servers.
The standard response usually goes something like:
1) Server is discovered doing something malicious
2) Server is taken offline/shutdown
3) Administrator is notified
3a) Read only copy of the old server HD is brought online on a new server to allow administrator to perform forensic and backup work*
4) Administrator must bring up new server to replace old compromised one
*Sometimes the provider will provide you the old HD image, sometimes not, really depends on the provider.